Irony: I write about PMM and then Nixon gets compared to a pet and I cancel my magazine subscription

this is what happens when stupid people breed and then write about it

As a mother of an only child, I turn my cheek to a lot of ignorant and occasionally well meaning comments, about siblings. The link above is fully ignorant and not at all helpful towards any only child. Sure, the author only dignifies only children with a single paragraph, but there was one sentence that ignited a fury in me I still haven't fully put out. 

"Only children are a little like pets, cosseted and lavished with undivided focus."

Now I have heard a lot of insanely stupid children vs. pet comparisons before, but really Nixon is nothing like a spoiled tea cup poodle or whatever the crap those ankle biters are called. Nixon has the comprehension skills to know what "no" means and he actually hears it frequently, despite his poor lonely status as an only child. I mean, it's not like we keep him locked in the basement and never take him out in public. He does go to stores, the zoo, OMG...we even took him to the movie theater AND he had to wait for the previews to end before he could watch the movie!! The horror of it all!! A dog, cat, rabbit, rat, snake or any other pet really doesn't have that comprehension. I don't compare children to my cats. Well, I compare Nixon to our cats, but that's because Nixon doesn't sleep on my pillow and kick me in the head (Amber, I'm looking at you), or try to stretch out so far and take up so much of the bed I'm forced to move onto Mac's side of the bed and give her my side of the bed (Arwen, I'm looking at you). Nixon also doesn't mew while he's trying to curl up onto my ass in the middle of the night (Arwen) or fight/eat my hair when I'm trying to do push ups or crunches on the living room floor (Amber). Finally, Nixon doesn't think attempted murder is an option when he's hungry (Amber, tripping me is not cool...ever).

The result of this article was more than just my anger and disgust. I actually subscribe to Parenting magazine, which printed this article. This is not the first article they've published that has the usual pro-sibling drivel but this has become the last one I'm going to pay to read. I emailed the magazine and asked that they cancel my subscription and explained exactly why I was canceling the subscription. I received a reply within 24 hours, explaining my subscription is good until August 2015 and how I could cancel it. Not one single regretful word in the entire email. Yeah, I made the right choice. It's canceled and I feel good defending my family, my son and only child in general.  

By the way, on the whole, I don't know too many parents who find it acceptable to compare a pet to a child. I know people who do it with the best of intentions but it's just not the same. I love Arwen to death, and honestly  in our wedding vows I told Mac "I love you more than anything...except Arwen. She was here first." And I was not joking. Nixon and Arwen are tied for 1st place in my heart, when Nixon goes to bed Arwen gets to snuggle with me. I rank people who give me advice on how to handle Nixon with tips that work with their pets the same as I rank people who give me advice on how to handle Nixon and they have no children. Umm....it's not real high. I'll just leave it there. 

Kids are not pets.

Kids are not pets. 

Kids.Are.Not.Pets.

 Only child or not, there is never a child who is a pet. Except maybe Jacob and the rest of the wolf pack from the Twilight series. Well, when they're in wolf form. But they'd be big ass pets. And I am not cleaning up after an accident one of them has, so they'd better be housebroken!

  

Arwen- my cat and an actual pet, but don't tell her, I'm pretty sure she's convinced she's really human and royalty at that! But she's a pet none-the-less. She just happens to have some serious travel miles logged over the years!

Jacob Black- the only possible child/pet hybid. Although less my child and more eye candy and drool worthy yumminess. As long as he's housebroken otherwise...there's the door, Eye Candy.

Nixon- my child, who while occasionally acts like an animal is NOT an animal and should never be compared to one!

Owning the Parenthood Walk of Shame!

Note to self: anything that requires taking Nixon into public while pushing his naptime back a bit...is a BAD idea. In fact, tying your own tubes at home with butter knives and tooth picks would be a better idea than taking Nixon out in an effort to push back his naptime. Calling your ex and telling him he's still sexy and all you ever think about....well c'mon now that will get you put into the looney bin, let's be honest. To say that, I'd have to be delusional!!

Get to the point, Rea.....

Since Mac is on midnights, he sleeps before going to work, and I try to get Nixon out of the house for at least an hour, giving him a bit of total silent sleep. Yesterday I decided I wanted to check mail (a good 25-30 minute round trip drive) and grab a box of bleach for my hair since I needed to get rid of the scary roots that were poking through again. Now, I did make one fatal error in judgment when leaving the house. I left without a diaper and wipes.

We checked mail, no issue other than Nixon running up and down the wheelchair ramp three times, giggling the entire time.

Off to the store we went. Nixon decided to take the stairs up to the second floor, so up we went. We grabbed the bleach for my hair and then I let Nixon wander around for a few minutes. (BAD idea...very bad idea!) I smelled something.
"Nixon, did you poop?"
Nixon: "no poop, momma" as he darts off to the toy cars aisle
We wander around that aisle just looking, Nixon never asked for a toy once, just pointed at the different cars/trucks/airplanes and trains. Finally, I realize he DID poop and I DON'T have any diapers or wipes with me so we have to go home now!

This is not going to end well.

I start gently leading him out of the toy section, without a fight. Until he realizes we're leaving and he tries to run back to the toy section! I hold his hand and we stand in one place for a few seconds while I explain we have to go home now.
Have you ever heard a banshee scream?? That high-pitched, ear bleeding tone that goes on forever?? Yeah, apparently Nixon is part Banshee because he's got that noise down pat! He throws himself on the ground and refuses to move. SO I pick him up. And continue walking to the register. There's one open, with a cashier I see frequently who's always friendly with Nixon. SCORE! I beeline for it, carrying a bucking bronco child, formerly known as Nixon, to pay for my one item, when I realize...I have to put Nixon down to dig my wallet out of my enormous purse! Thankfully, still no one else in line behind us. I smile, put Nixon on the ground and grab my id and wallet.

Of course, as I'm swiping my card and almost in the clear, Nixon tries to make a dash for it just as someone gets in line behind us. I grab his arm and lift him up popping him onto my hip without a thought. And the screaming begins again. The cashier, familiar with us, smiles kindly and says "Bad day?"
I shrug and do my best to act like I don't want to drop Nixon off in the nearest donation box, and say "Eh, who knows, he's 2". As he continues to scream and the woman in line behind me is shaking her head. I'm pretty sure my ears were bleeding as I walked away and went downstairs.

It used to be the walk of shame was the morning after a one night stand, going home in the same clothes you left in the night before. Now? As a parent? The walk of shame is leaving any public place with a screaming child and getting the dirty hairy eyeball looks from strangers who you've never seen before but you know think you are the WORST mother in the world at that very moment in time.
There are a couple ways you can deal with the Parenthood Walk of Shame.
*1- hang your head, with your face bright red and utter an apology to anyone around you for your child being a child
*2- OWN that walk of shame.

I do number 2. It makes people much more uncomfortable when they realize you are already aware of the fact you know your child is causing a scene and you are the reason for it. Here's what I did yesterday.
As we were leaving, and people were staring at my screaming child and a part of me wanted to tell Nixon to "shut the fuck up" I fell back on my humor. While holding my screaming banshee son, instead of apologizing to strangers I'd never seen before, I apologized to Nixon...for his mother being the devil and being so mean.
It sounded like this.
Me: "I know buddy. I'm sorry your mom is the devil and is making you leave without getting you a toy. And being the son of the devil means screaming is perfectly acceptable behavior. I get it, but I don't think everyone else around you, listening and staring gets it. Maybe if you scream louder they'll leave us alone."

Yeah, I got a lot of head shakes and eyerolls from people. You know what else? I got the satisfaction of knowing those self-righteous shits were listening to me speaking softly to my son, because I never raised my voice to Nixon, I spoke closely into his ear so he could hear me, over his own screaming. Someone muttered something about "nice parenting", I thanked them.

It's all about owning something. Toddlers, preschoolers, kids in general...they all have bad days. They'll thrown temper tantrums. I should've left and said "the hell with" what I was buying. But I didn't. So I had to deal with the fallout of it all. Thankfully, he's only one kid throwing one tantrum, albeit a very loud and impressive one!

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On a separate note, it seems Nixon is getting ready to potty train and we'll be doing it naked and standing up.
It began with his refusal to wear a diaper or undies. Then he started standing in front of the toilet. So far in 3 days: he's spent over 4 hours naked, an hour in 2 pairs of undies, had 5 accidents, cleaned up 2 of the accidents and flushed the toilet no fewer than 15 times in 10 minutes!
His last accident last night, before bed, he came over to me "Momma I nakid!!", he had been wearing underwear prior to this moment. Then I heard "I clean it, I clean it!" I rush over to see what he's cleaning and it's a small puddle right next to the toilet! AWESOME!! No seriously, that's the closet he's been yet!. So we clean it together, he flushes the toilet "bye bye pee" and it's jammie time.

Now if only he would stop pulling on his penis! I swear he's trying to pull it OFF his body!

Pardon me but you mistakenly replaced my baby with this grown-ass child and I'd like my baby back!

A few weeks ago, Mac and I discussed what to do with Nixon's hair. It was growing long again and it turns out, he's got some thick and curly hair (like mine) which does not handle the humidity of the island very well. His whole head sweats, pretty much within minutes of being outside. His hair starts to curl in the back and the summer was only beginning to get hot. I had wanted to let it grow out. But, once again, I agreed to let Mac make a parenting call when he suggested we take Nixon for a REAL haircut this week. I knew it was in Nixon's best interest, because going from hot outside to cool inside with wet hair was only begging for him to get sick at some point...but I hated how freaking upset he got last time we took him to get his haircut.

So, yesterday during his nap, I snuck out and hit the store. I bought: 2 brand new Cars 2 shirts for him (1 that he'd get to choose and wear to his haircut in the morning), 3 new toy cars and a bag of candy he'd never had before but that I deemed safe enough for him to have. The toys and candy got put into his new backpack (which he likes) and the shirts hidden until this morning. Now, to some it sounds like I spoil Nixon, but after his meltdown last time we got his hair cut at the barber shop and how much LOUDER he's gotten in the months since, I prefer to think of it as well-prepared.

This morning Mac came home from work (he had a quick trip in for awards and the usual bullshit waste of an hour plus drive time), we all got ready and off we went. Nixon was excited to see his new tee shirts and got dressed with little fight. A couple pieces of candy got Nixon into the barber shop and the new cars kept him occupied while we waited for a chair to open for him. (Well, we did have one time out in the hallway because he got loud and wouldn't calm down, but it wasn't too bad and it was only once).

Nixon sat on my lap, with his new truck in his hand and accepted pieces of candy from Mac occasionally while getting his haircut. He didn't cry, or squirm (too much), or yell. He sat quietly and played with his truck and watched in the mirror as his hair was cut. He watched it pile up on the smock around him and on the floor at his feet. He was amazing! I'd ask him "You okay Nix?" and he'd reply "yeah I okay".

Then I looked in the mirror.

I saw me and I saw a child that might have been Nixon on my lap, except he looked much older than Nixon. My baby was gone. In his place was a grown child.

Nixon was done. He said "arigato" and gave the woman who cut his hair a tip. She squeezed my arm and said "okay momma?". I said "sure" and smiled. It wasn't until we were walking down the area outside of the barber shop, Mac next to me Nixon happily taking off a little ahead of us, that I felt the tears welling up! He looked too old! Too grown up! Too....not my baby anymore.

Nixon reminded me of someone, with his new short haircut, but I couldn't place it. Not until we got home and I was playing with the pictures I'd taken for this blog. He looks very similar to my nephew Adam, the last time I saw him. Adam was 4.5 when I saw him last and his hair was cut like Nixon's is now. There's a very strong family resemblance between the two, I can see it now. It made me miss Adam (who's with his father out of state, not deceased, just to clear any confusion up), but it also made me see Nixon as a little kid and not just my baby.

And now....... the pictures!!





Mac asked Nixon where his hair was, during a diaper change. Nixon's response?? "Hair gone". That it is, my friend, that it is.

The kiddie pool is no place for a puppy mill

Well, obviously, the title is a joke. There wasn't a real puppy mill at the pool but there were 2 moms with a litter of kids each and kind of treated them like you see dogs in puppy mills treated. You know, sadly over looked and allowed to pretty much do whatever they can do in a tiny area no matter who else is in the area or how offensive the puppies actions might be. And to further my puppy mill references, there was even a bitch feeding her puppy on the tit at the pool! (now that might seem offensive, but it is a completely acceptable way to describe a mother dog feeding her puppy) Fully covered, but it still completes my puppy mill analogy.

Now I know you are reading this and thinking to yourself (a) Rea must really hates kids, especially a family with more than one kid or (b) oh shit! she's gone off her meds and none of this is going to make any sense to anyone outside of the voices in her head. I can assure you neither of those things are true and I'll tell you the whole story. And I promise, by the end, you too will hate the "puppy mill mom" like K and I did. See, I forgot that part, huh...I wasn't alone during this! Haha

K and I decided last night we needed to get the kids (and ourselves) out of the house. After some discussion we decided to take them to the pool at White Beach, which though kind of a drive, is usually empty and has a kiddie pool perfect for our toddlers. We left this morning a little after 10am and made it to the pool around 11am. Just in time to see (a) a van of kids unload (greaaat) and (b) a sign that says "Pool Closed from 1130am to 1230pm Daily for Lap Swim". We quickly changed the kids and hoped for at least a few minutes in the pool before having to leave and hit either the beach or the playground by the campgrounds. As it turned out, the kiddie pool was not affected by the lap swim, so we were all able to stay in the pool area.

We had Nixon and little Miss Macy, who's been mentioned in previous blogs. Another family had 2 boys probably between the ages of 5-8 years old....in the kiddie pool. The family who unloaded as we arrived?? Yeah one mom with: an infant in a carrier (the titty baby), a toddler a little younger than Nixon, what looked like twins around 4 years old and 2 much older child (a boy and a girl I'd say looked to be around 7-10 years old). Again all...in...the...kiddie...pool. Which is a figure 8 shaped pool. And is only 1'10" deep, and maybe 8 feet long. It's really not a big pool, because it's a KIDDIE POOL!!!

We get Miss Macy and Nixon to the pool, and the older kids are jumping into the pool, swimming under water, splashing each other and generally showing that they do not belong in that pool. I put Nixon's floaty vest on him (so to even the most ignorant person, the fact that a kid is wearing a padded bright yellow with flames on it vest would say "This kid is not used to water!") and put him in the pool, while I sit on the edge of the pool so he can hang on to me while getting comfortable. As soon as he is in the water, the older kids are jumping into the pool behind him and splashing us! Nixon starts to kind of freak out, and seeing this PMM ("puppy mill mom", from here on out), spoke "Not everyone wants to be splashed." Then went back to her iPhone and rocking the infant in the carrier with her foot.

I wish I could say that was the worse but it wasn't. Nixon got pushed, from under water, by one of the older kids swimming underwater and not paying attention to the little kids. One of PMM's own kids got his arm stuck in the draining area around the pool and was crying and quite upset. She never moved and waited for an older sibling to go help him (or for him to drown, I'm really not quite sure which end result she was hoping for). K and I got dirty looks from her because we wouldn't listen to her oldest child ramble on about "watch me", "look what I can do", "did you see me?", "where you watching?", "okay, I'll do it one more time, but you have to watch me, are you watching...look here I go". Honestly, I felt bad for the kid, because she just wanted someone to pay attention to her. I also wanted to say "Seriously kid, your siblings are almost drowning my son who actually did come out of my vagina and is kind of really important to me so I'm sorry if I'm not looking at you because you feel like I have enough time to look at you". I did NOT say that, but I was totally thinking it! Apparently PMM felt that since I only had one child to watch I should be honored to be entertained by her eldest child. Sorry, this mommy doesn't care that much about a child that didn't come from my vagina. (But K, I love Miss Macy! Just like I love my nieces and nephews! They're all exceptions to that rule)

Can some please explain to me when publicly correcting your child became taboo?? Nixon got out of the pool and was running around it. Clearly this is unsafe and was not to be acceptable. I told him "Nixon, that's one. You keep running around the pool and you will go in Time Out. Do you want to go in Time Out?" He, of course, said no and left me. All I had to do was watch him and count, with a reminder that 3 was a trip to T.O. He stopped running and would walk, though it was a long gaited walk it was still a walk and not a run, around the pool. K was sitting next to me and we were talking. PMM was sitting on the opposite side of the pool from us and she saw Nixon and I have our discussion and saw me compliment Nixon for walking by me ("Nixon that's awesome! Thanks for walking around the pool. High five!" and "Nixon you are a rock start today for listening and not running!") as he did laps on the outside of the pool. PMM shook her head everytime Nixon walked by and I complimented him, like I was spoiling him or ruining him or something along those lines. Like it was horribly offensive that I might thank my son for listening to me and NOT run around the pool. I get it's not a common approach, but it's my approach and it kept me from yelling at him (too much) and chasing after him (only twice and that was later on). Meanwhile, PMM's litter was still in the pool, with Miss Macy alone this time, being rambunctious and unconcerned for another child's safety. What chafed me was: there was a lifeguard on duty. At several time he should have (in my opinion) come over and asked the older kids to get out of the pool. They were doing unsafe acts, putting other children at risk and were clearly too big for the kiddie pool in the first place. (There's a complaint to the MWR outdoor recreation department coming about that...believe me)

Just when we thought PMM and her litter was leaving....another mom with HER litter (4 kids: infant, toddler and 2 older children, I'd guess between ages 5-9) showed up! More older kids in the pool. More rough housing ensues. Thankfully, they stayed less than 15 minutes and then left to go....well who the hell cares where they went the point is they fucking left! Leaving only the 2 older boys (about 5-8 years old), who thought roughhousing and shit like that was a good idea. Once the pool was empty, Nixon wanted to be in it. I was sitting on the edge (K, with Miss Macy, went to the car to get a drink that she'd left there) and these 2 boys started splashing Nixon and I. I gave them a free pass. Once. Nixon walked to the other side of the pool, and the oldest kid jumped into the pool right over Nixon's head, who he had clearly seen was there, I said "please be careful of the little one." K came back into the pool with Miss Macy and the kids were happily playing in the pool, when the boys started to get really out of control. Their parents totally ignoring the sign that said "Children in the pool must be closely supervised by an adult at all times", were too busy taking, what I can only assume were, facebook photos of each other on the other side of the gate that separates the kiddie pool from the other pool to pay any attention to what was going on until they heard my bitch voice say "Hey, ya wanna knock it off. There are two small children in this pool too". THEN the parents pay attention. Oh, and the lifeguard? Yeah, he came in. To check the pH balance of the water, which given the ages of the kids is a good idea, but it also means he did in fact know how to get into the kiddie pool area so he could have at any time come in and said something to the PMM kids.

We left shortly after that. An hour and a half seemed a fair amount of time in the pool for the kids, who both feel asleep on the car ride home.

I do feel I need to say I don't care how many kids a family has. I do care when you take them out in public and do not interact with them at all, instead expecting them to entertain themselves at the expense of everyone else around you and them. Someone could have been seriously injured and PPM had 2 children who were in potentially dangerous situations, both with drowning a probable outcome and her response was to tell and older sibling to "get your brother". Kids who are over 4 feet tall and jumping into water less than 2 feet deep, is a BAD idea! The bottom of the pool is slippery, if one of those kids slipped...blood and mess and lots of bad stuff. That's what would've happened. She nursed the infant for 10 minutes, the rest of the time he/she was in the carrier with the sun in his/her eyes and PMM was on her iPhone. It's annoying that I take my son to have fun and I get treated like a kid because there are kids in a kiddie pool who are nearly as tall as I am! Yeah, you don't belong in a kiddie pool. Mom needs to get off her ass and play with her kids, not Duggar the responsibility to the older siblings.

And how is it, I put sunscreen on AND still get sunburned?!?!?

There are some crazy animals around me....oh and we went to the zoo too!

This weekend was as good as it was bad. Mac is back on the midnight shift, after being screwed into staying on day shift somehow for over a year. The good thing about midnights is we see him a little more and it seems Nixon gets more one-on-one morning time, while I get more sleeping time (score!!). The bad thing is, with the way Nixon naps now, he's napping when Mac leaves for work so he misses sending Mac off to work. But a phone call at bedtime seems to have made it a little easier, plus the morning alone time with Mac seems to make Nixon a happy little guy.

Friday and Saturday were pretty much a wash, due to rain. We ran errands but that was about it. So, I mentioned taking Nixon to the zoo on Sunday so he could feed the "new" baby giraffe and the elephant. Now, I know Mac hates the Okinawa Zoo because it's habitats are sad looking (especially the big cat ones....very sad, depressed animals) but he did promise to go at least once to watch Nixon feed the animals. I figured after being cooped up all weekend and having spent the last 2 weeks recovering from his vasectomy and not being able to carry or hold Nixon at all, this seemed like a fun or potentially stupid outing. It turned out to be both.

The first part of the morning, breakfast at home, was great. I made omelets for Mac and I plus turkey bacon and pancakes. Nixon had the bacon, pancakes and yogurt. I started packing our drinks and snacks for the zoo and even though we left a little late we were on our way. The zoo was far less crowded than the last time I visited on a weekend (which is a plus because Mac hates crowds) so parking was a breeze. Nixon fell asleep about 3 blocks from the zoo, but as soon as he got out of the car and saw where we were he exclaimed "Monkey!! Zoo!!" and proceeded to try to run away from me towards the elevator...Mac was not impressed.

We made it by the ride area, without an epic meltdown! Mostly, in part, due to me carrying Nixon and explaining to him we had a big surprise for him we HAD to get to, so if he was extra well-behaved we'd ride the rides after his surprise. He just pointed to the motorcycle ride-on we rode on together last time at the zoo, "dat one, momma I ride dat one" and the train and the "notty fire truck, momma, dat one" as we walked by. But no fit. I was impressed, but I think Mac was waiting for Nixon to start screaming in protest. We managed to herd him to the kangaroos, so he could show Mac the baby "roos". He took off, running his little Nixon excited lope, and I let him go knowing I was watching him and there wasn't anyone around. Mac, wanted Nixon to stay right next to us. Nixon slowed down and started pointing out the kangaroos to Mac as we walked by the habitat and I pointed out a baby kangaroo to Nixon, who said "bye bye kangloroos" as we left the area.


Now, here is the one really amazing thing that I will miss about Okinawa and it's something that not even my glass half-empty husband can complain about: For the dollar equivalent of $3.60 in yen, Nixon got to feed 3 giraffes, by hand, including the new one year-old baby giraffe! He got up close and even had his hand licked by the baby giraffe as she (I think it's a she) took the greens from his hand. As a mom, I got to see my son RUN up a sidewalk excited because he knew what was inside the building and he couldn't wait to go feed the giraffes! Plus, Mac was with him, so Mac got to see and help Nixon feed the giraffes.


After the giraffes we went to feed the elephant. For a little more (about $4.80....the yet exchange rate is 79yen to $1.00, it was 200yen each to feed the elephant) Nixon got to feed an elephant long green shoots of bamboo looking things. I took pictures and Mac got to help him feed the elephant too. We tried getting a family picture in front of the elephant, but Nixon saw the other elephant in the enclosure next to us and freaked out screaming "baby elephant!!" so no family picture in front of the elephant for me. (I openly and selfishly admit to being disappointed over this, I really wanted this photo of the 3 of us, but I can't force Nixon to sit still and stop screaming when he wants to go see something else).


The hardest part about being the stay-at-home parent vs. the working parent is parenting technique. I know Nixon, so I'm okay with letting him run off some energy at the zoo, even if it means he's a little scattered and flip flopping in what he wants to do. He's 2.5 years old, he's naturally got a short attention span to begin with. I'm used to that. Mac....not so much. And his impatience and annoyance with Nixon's behavior took a toll not only on Nixon, but also on me and ultimately our whole day. It's very hard for me to not snap at him and tell him he's being an asshole by being overbearing or trying to control the entire situation. Instead I stepped back and let the two of them battle it out, because Nixon and I have had plenty of time to "battle it out" without Mac's interference and I really think it's the only way he (Mac) is ever going to find his parenting groove. But damned if I don't feel like I'm giving up at times and failing Nixon, when I know this is actually the right thing to do.

The whole thing boiled down to the fishing pond. I have my way of doing the pond. I buy the carp food and give Nixon the box. Nixon feeds the ducks, fish and pigeons one or two boxes then we're usually good to go. I tend to stand back and watch or snap some pictures, occasionally tossing in some food pellets but for the most part letting Nixon do what he wants with the food.
With Mac with us, it was....different. I bought the food and gave the box to Nixon, but started taking pictures. Mac, totally meaning well, took the box and started showing Nixon how to throw the pellets into the water instead of just dropping them in. At first, Nixon was really into that. And then he wasn't. So Mac got frustrated. Then Nixon got more frustrated. Then I've got a pissed off, melting down toddler and a frustrated, annoyed daddy on my hands at the same time. I can't make it better for both of them, one of them is going to be pissed. I realized, I HAVE to back up and support Mac's decision, even if I don't agree with it. United front and all....damned shared parenting.
In the end, we went home without riding any rides. Nixon's meltdown was too epic to be rewarded with any sort of ride. Even if I knew how to avoid the meltdown, I'd have been stepping on Mac's parenting toes and he's got to earn his stripes somehow. It's not fun to watch or fair to let the meltdown happen, but its a lesson they both have to learn. I had to learn my lessons the hard way, Mac's gotta learn his the same way. I can't keep teaching him HOW to be a dad, at some point he's got to figure some shit out on his own.
"Pick your battles" is a phrase I am constantly telling him. So far, he's not listening. Some day it will all sink in.....

My life is pretty lovely

Mac and I pulled off the best surprise for Nixon yesterday. Thankfully the stars aligned and Nixon napped early so he was in a great mood when it came time to go too. We took him to go see Cars 2, and while it didn't look like he'd last in the beginning (when he started yelling "no popcorn no popcorn!") and wasn't going to sit still (he started saying "all done! go bye bye" before the movie even started), when the lights went down and he saw Mater and McQueen, he was hooked! Quite a few times I had to lift him back into a sitting position because he just got so comfortable he almost slouched right out of the seat! He did spend the last 20 minutes on my lap, but I'm not complaining, who knows how many more movie snuggles I'll get from him.

And I must brag on him for a minute, because he did not make a peep the whole movie and it was just over an hour and 45 minutes long (I think). That's a long time for a 2.5 year old to sit quietly and focus on anything, let alone not speak/yell/run around or do anything else disturbing. He even said good bye to the movie, the cars and Mater when the movie ended and we left the theater. I know Mac was worried about my plans to take Nixon to see this movie, but we all had a great time at the movie and it was good for him (Mac) to have something to brag about, as a dad for a change. He tends to focus on the negatives of Nixon's behaviors a lot more than the positives, so for him to see Nixon sit through an entire movie after the potentially epic meltdown in the beginning, was a very good thing.

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Car ride conversation with Nixon and I today:
(light turned green, cars start to move around us)
Nixon: go mommy, go cars
me: Nixon, I can go when the other cars go
Nixon: go now cars!
me: we're all going now Nixon
Nixon: Mommy faster, go cars faster!
(I see a car in the lane next to us tailgating the car in front of him)
me: Oh c'mon there is no need for that nonsense! Just back off a bit before someone gets hurt, you moron!
Nixon: no nonsense moron! moron nonsense!
me: Nixon, that's not nice, only say "no nonsense"
Nixon: No moron nonsense
me: Yep, that was me!

But to be totally fair....it was a moron move to be tailgating, because....there was no one in the lane to the right, so the guy could have passed on the right and then moved ahead of the guy he was tailgating! I mean, it's what I would've done. And I'm pretty sure, it's what Nixon would do when he's old enough to drive too! I really wish I could drive and video our conversations in the car sometimes, THOSE are the moments I really want to remember!

He makes me melt...even before my cup of coffee

Nixon has a brand new way to make me melt into a pile of warm and fuzzy mommy goo. He tried it out this morning (at an almost acceptable hour of 7am).

He came into the bedroom, arms filled with toy trucks, BeBe and a dinosaur. I heard the pitter patter of little Nixon feet on our bedroom floor but I wasn't ready to open my eyes yet, so I didn't. He placed his armload on his the bed next to me and started singing a brand new song, just for me. It went like this: "Happy Mommy Happy Day, Momma. Happy Mommy Day" I opened my eyes and smiled at him. He handed me the remotes for the tv and he climbed into the bed next to me (apologizing to "Arwee" as he got in and she mewed in protest of being moved). Nixon snuggled onto my chest for a second, kissed my head and then said "Ming Ming, momma....pease". For those of you not fluent in Nixonese that translates to "Wonder Pets please momma". I, of course, honored his request because he made me melt and he lets me sleep longer as long as I switch episodes for him on the dvd. Don't knock it, it works for us!

I took a shower this morning, turned on Cars so Nixon was occupied while I cleaned the sludge of last night's sleep off my body in peace. I do this often enough that Nixon knows when I call his name, I expect him to come into the bathroom and call out "Yeah??" so I know he's still alive and okay. I did it once today and he came running into the bathroom "WHAT, mommy?" then gave me a kiss and ran back out into the living room. A few minutes later there was a large, unexpected clap of thunder. Nixon came running into the bathroom within seconds and said "Momma, what did you do?!?" When I asked him if he was okay, he said "Shhh....race cars on" rolled eyes at me and left the bathroom again. He's lucky he made me melt earlier today.

Lastly, this little mini-me/mini-Mac depending on the day, came up to me with 2 pairs of his shorts in his hands. Lately, to get him dressed faster, I'll give him 2 choices of shirts/shorts or pants/shoes and I'll say"Nixon, pick one". So this little smartass came up to me with 2 pairs of shorts, thrusts them into my face and says "Mommy, pick one! Pick one NOW!" Then grabs them both and runs away! Laughing.