Ugg...why doesn't anyone tell you how horrible 4 is?!?

   Well, my Saturday is off to a fine start. How is everyone else's? I hope for your sakes, not anything like mine is going. Unless you are a mortal enemy of mine and then I hope you are having the same day times 5. Which would only be possible if you have 5 kids or quintuplets.

   Nixon is currently in his room, and is there until he decides to leave his room clothed. He's in his jammies, but is refusing to change for the day. Fine, I'm tired of this constant battle of the wills. Not going to change your clothes, stay in your room. Done!

   While I'm dealing with this at home before I've had my coffee even Mac is off waiting for a comic book signing at Third Eye Comics, where he's been since 7am. It's an ongoing theme lately. I deal with Nixon's tantrums and Mac is....well, anywhere but home. True, a lot of the time he's working or doing something work related, but this week it's also been him doing things he likes doing...alone. Which translates to he gets free time and I get? Another wonderful tantrum, strong-willed filled day of Nixon fun. *sigh*

   After 20 minutes in his room, Nixon came down and got dressed then asked to go see Daddy. Before we left (I made a cup of coffee) I warned Nixon that if he acted up and didn't listen to Mac or myself, I would bring him back home.

   We left the house and got to Third Eye Comics without issue. Nixon was a gem, sitting in his chair while I actually got to have a conversation with another adult about something I enjoyed! He started watching his PSP, but was soon enamored with a friend's pet rat. The rat was replaced by solitaire on our friend's phone, which Nixon was quite good at surprisingly enough.

    Everything was good, until Nixon decided to run around and stop listening. Enter me. I picked him up, carried him (screeching at the top of his lungs) to the car, and we left. He was warned and now I was following through. He was upset, wanted to go back to Daddy, but that wasn't happening.

   And Mac? He's still at the comic book store, waiting in line for the signing. To be fair, he did offer to come home, before Nixon and I got there, to help get Nixon ready. I declined because forcing Nixon to get ready wasn't going to fix anything. Nixon needed to make the choice himself.

   It's frustrating that my days are filled with tantrums and plans getting shelved because Nixon won't behave, but Mac's life and plans go on. It's a cycle we go through every 6-9 months. We'll be on really good and equal ground for a while than BAM! I'm losing all my sanity and he's getting a lot of breaks. It balances out in the end, it's just been a little harder since I suck at making friends. Wait, does a bottle of wine count as a friend? Cause if it does then I've had a couple new friends in the past two months, but it ended abruptly when I realized they were empty and I was tipsy.

The saddest day as a mom so far

   Every mom knows there comes a day their child will say something just to hurt them. I never expected to hear it come out of my precious 4-year old's mouth, but I knew I wouldn't be the only mom on earth to not hear it.

   Tonight, after Nixon's shower and after he was told it was bedtime, Nixon turned to me and said "I don't like you, Mommy." Simple as that, not hate-fueled, just very matter-of-factually in the same sweet tone he uses to say "i love you". I was shocked, I was hurt, I was heart-broken. What I was not, was angry. Anger wasn't going to get me anywhere in this situation.
   We stayed in my bed for a minute longer, while Nixon continued to profess his "bossy" ways. I told him, very quietly and calmly, that his words hurt my heart a lot and they made me very sad. I didn't force an apology out of him, I didn't yell or do anything really. I was just very hurt, and shocked, that he said that to me over something he knew was coming! I make sure I give him advance warning on bedtime.

  He brushes his teeth, gets onto his bed and sits there.
He says to me, very quietly while he's fidgeting with his BeBe, "Mommy, I sorry I was bossy."
I say to him "Nixon, I'm used to you being bossy. That's part of you being 4, being a little boy. What made me sad, made my heart sad was when you said you don't like me."
Nixon said "I was only being bossy."
I replied, "Nixon, that wasn't bossy baby. That was very mean."
I gave him a kiss on the forehead and started tucking him into bed. Nixon puts his hand on my cheek and says "Mommy, I'm sorry I hurt your heart. I love you. Your my best friend."
I tell him "Thank you for apologizing baby. I love you too! You are my favorite baby boy!"

  I know he's going to say things to hurt me as he gets older. I said far worst things to my parents, but to be fair my parents were far worst parents than Mac and I are to Nixon, while I was growing up. I hope this is as bad as it gets.

broke my heart and made it better, just by using that little mouth of his. 

"BAM in the cup yo!"

^^THIS is one of Nixon's favorite AFN (Armed Forces Network) commercials. He has been walking around for over a week saying "Bam I'm a sardogfn cup yo!" at the most random times. It's hilarious because there's no rhyme or reason to when he's saying.


So yesterday we went to the hospital here because I needed an x-ray on my wrist to rule out any old fractures causing the pain I've been having and Mac needed to go to the lab to find out when he needed to do to get his semen sample tested...because we're no fools! That vasectomy was not done in vain and until we're told it was successful there's no bareback rides happening at this rodeo! He picked up the cup and instructions, I got my x-ray and we came home. 
(**Now we're slowly beginning to realize, even if we're having a veiled conversation of inappropriate topic, Nixon might catch on. Yesterday he just happened to catch on and offer the perfect catch phrase ever!)


Me: so what's the deal with the cup?
Mac: I don't know I haven't read the instructions yet, but I'm guessing it's something like make a deposit then bring to the lab in a matter of X time.
Me: well, if it's going in the cup I'll help ya out with it....wink wink
Mac: we'll see
Nixon:(comes running over from eating his snack) BAM in the cup YO!
Mac and I: holy shit!!!! *as we laugh and almost fall on the floor losing our minds!*


What do you say after that??? Nothing! You laugh together because it really is the funniest fucking thing to have happen, planned or otherwise, made funnier by the fact that our almost 3 year-old said it!! Yep, there's no denying it, not that we ever really deny it, Nixon is SO our son. My temper, Mac's quick impatience/frustration and our combined comedic timing! Goddess help this kid's teachers!!!