the day my son turned into teenage girl

   Today, Nixon was a monster. Maybe it was because I'm coming down with a cold and have zero tolerance for his BS when I'm getting sick. Maybe it's because I didn't have my morning coffee. Or maybe it's because we were spending Sunday morning grocery shopping.
   Nope, it's definitely all on Nixon and his totally epic tantrum and sudden diva behavior.

   It started with Nixon whining and pouting about putting on his shirt. How on earth does child hit the exact wrong tone with mom when she's not feeling well? Seriously, whining and screeching that he "can't find the right hole!" He had his head in the right hole, but had the shirt twisted so the armholes were in the front and back of the shirt, instead of st his sides. Honest-to-gods, this was end of the world type shit!

   At the store he was pretty good, munching on his little bag of snacks most of the time, until he decided he wanted to get out. I normally don't have an issue with him helping me, but when he won't stay with me and it's stupid crowded, he's better sitting in that fucking beeping car-cart he begged for as we walked into the store than getting out and driving everyone (including dad and I) nuts. He did get back in and was content for the final few minutes of the shopping trip, with the assistance of the PSP. Yeah, judge me, I'd judge me too if I weren't trying to get out of the store with my sanity and dignity intact.

   All was good...until we were placing items on the belt at the register. Nixon decided he had enough and wanted to run around the store. Look, I get it. Shopping is really boring. I can only do so much to keep him entertained while I'm trying to compare prices and find items on my list and coupons. Plus Mac isn't great with crowds but he did let me sleep in and I hadn't finished the lists last night because I needed him to go over them with me.
   My final straw was Nixon telling me no he wasn't going to listen to me. I left the club card and coupons with Mac, grabbed my mouthy little boy and headed out of the store...right into a Matchbox cars display. Seriously, who at Safeway hates me?! Nixon stopped in his tracks, said "Mommy, I want a new car. It's so lovely" and then yelled "NO!" when I told him we were going to the car without a new car. On the way out, he did a lovely move. He dropped to his ass, and spun on the floor just lying there looking up at me like "I won, now what?!" Now what, turned out to be: me stopping, grabbing the PSP from his hand and putting it into my jacket pocket, picking Nixon up off the floor and carrying him out of the store. All in less than 10 seconds after he dropped to the floor. *a special thank you to the asshole that decided to park right on the line next to my car. I had to put Nixon in on the passengers side which is the side Mac sits on so there is not much room. with a child in mid-tantrum I don't exactly have time to move the seat up and get more room to maneuver.* Nixon was finally in his seat and he says "Mommy, you need to tell my you are sorry, because you made me cry." I asked him "Are you going to tell me you are sorry for acting out and lying down in the store?" He says "NO because you should have bought me the car" and that was when I said "NO, my little love, you are wrong. You need to listen to "no" and just accept it. Not throw a tantrum and think that you will get your way" He decided to stop talking to me after that.

   Later in the afternoon he started his dramatic ways again. More tears, more demands, more foot stomping and mood swings. I swear to gods, somehow my son changed from a 4-year-old boy to a teenage girl and I'm not happy about it. There's only room for one moody bitch in this house and I claim that honor! I have the vagina I get to be the moody bitch!

   I love him, but today was a rough one.

Luxury in life

While making breakfast today, (nothing fancy waffles, scrambled eggs with cheese and turkey bacon with coffee of course), I was struck by a thought. I'd asked Mac to help me and realized after listening to the giggles and running commentary between Nixon and mac, that he was otherwise occupied. I also, strangely enough, found myself jealous of Mac.
I'll explain.
Mac can't cook. I mean he can't cook anything that doesn't have microwave instructions or can go in the toaster. Which means, if we're eating a home cooked meal, I'm the one making the meal. Breakfast, lunch, dinner doesn't matter I'm making it. So listening to Nixon and Mac relaxing watching Zaboomafu together this morning bothered me. I'm never able to chill and have a fresh meal magically appear on the table, excluding pizza deliveries of course. Just once it'd be nice to relax and be called to the table by someone I'm not paying and told my meal is ready.

I've heard being a stay-at-home-mom is a luxury. It wasn't a choice I made selflessly. It was kind of made for me, after arriving to Okinawa, when I realized childcare, base job pay rate and Mac's shift work would not be conducive to me working outside of the home. Although to be honest, I don't really work in the home either. I clean, feed Nixon, try to keep him on a schedule and mostly entertained, I run errands when needed. I make meals for the 3 of us most days and dinner most nights. I remind Mac of important things he needs to do. To me a luxury is daycare and working outside of the home.

One person's idea of luxury is another person's reality.
By the way, if there's anyone out there who'd like to help Mac make a full meal for Nixon and I, giving me the luxury of eating a meal that's not fast food, that I didn't prepare some day, let me know. I'm okay with everything I have to do, but just once it'd be nice to NOT spend time in the kitchen and still eat something other than sandwiches.