Stop me if you've heard this before

   In one week from today my mother-in-law will be arriving to spend a week with us. We haven't seen her since Nixon's birthday and I was not at my best, mentally wise. She'll be here one week before Mother's Day, which is cool since we haven't seen her for Mother's Day since....well, before Nixon was here.

   That story goes like this:
Mac and I got married in March 2008. I found out I was pregnant in late-March/early-April, but we decided to wait to tell everyone because I'm superstitious and it seemed awesome that the end of the first trimester was very close to Mother's Day.
Not telling family for 11 weeks....hardest thing ever!
Mac and I had already made plans to fly to Miami and spend the weekend with his mom. We saw my family in March, so this was our first trip to visit his family since getting married. We had planned on not telling his mom until Mother's Day, but had to change that a little. I had horrible all day nausea and I'd lost over 15 lbs by the time we went to Miami. His mom knew something was up. I looked awful! I was super tired (tried passing it off as being tired from the early flight without success) and I couldn't keep anything down.
We went out to dinner with Mac mom, step-dad, brothers, sister-in-law and her family. I was trying to eat and not get super sick. Mac and I decided, since everyone was there and it was obviously going to be a long weekend, we were going to tell everyone after dinner.
As everyone may or may not know, Mac's mom is Vietnamese. Mac is half-Vietnamese but never showed much interest in that side of his heritage. (trust me this is important)
As everyone was getting coffee and dessert, Mac puts his arm around me and says to his mom, "Mom, how do you say "grandma" in Vietnamese?". She starts to explain, it depends on if it's the maternal or paternal side of the family. Then pauses and says "Why do you ask?". Mac says, calm and deadpan as can be, "Well, because you're going to be one."
Cue my mother-in-law asking "Are you serious?" a few times, other family members giving us hugs and congrats and my mother-in-law telling me "I knew you looked more than just tired!"

   (Fast forward to our next visit to Miami before we left to move to Okinawa, when I fell in love with my mother-in-law's Pho...it's a soup that is A-maz-ING! But when I was pregnant, I could barely stomach the smell, let alone the taste. Thank gods, Nixon left my body and I could like my mother-in-law's awesome food once he did)

   It seems crazy that it was five years ago that we told everyone Nixon (at the time Squishy) was incubating in me. I can not imagine my life without him, without Mac and without my awesome mother-in-law.

  Here's to an awesome visit, a wonderful night-out with my husband and Nixon getting some quality time with his Nana while I remain in much better spirits than our last visit.

"she's aged a lot" and shit that doesn't belong in the toilet....

The saga of broken shit continues...

Mac let his laptop sit in a pan of rice for 24 hours. He then spent over an hour replacing the keys on the keyboard before booting the laptop up. At first, it wasn't looking good. The lights all came on, but nothing else seemed to happen. He left it alone for about half an hour, when all of a sudden....it started booting up!! Holy shit the rice trick fucking worked!! Except...he then had the hardest time (and I totally expected the laptop to go flying at the wall and shatter into a thousand pieces, because that would've been really cool to see and also would have been one hell of a way to go and end the life of the Zombie laptop....It's ALIVE!!) entering his password because some of the keys were sticking or stuck, making it hard to type. That seems to have finally worked itself out, for now, but a new laptop (.....*sigh* it was supposed to be a netbook originally, but somehow morphed into a notebook last night when the actual purchase was being made. THAT was not a pretty argument, however I am quite proud of myself for not bringing up my ruined/ forgotten birthday request as an example of how I never get what I ask for and how Mac always gets exactly what he wants.....well until he reads the blog!)

So the Zombie laptop, returned from it's water-drenched grave will be with us until the new NOTE(not net)book arrives, in the next couple of weeks. 

And Nixon's trail of destruction and terror continues.

Yesterday, I made a skype phone call to my grandparents, during which Nixon quietly played in another room. (Danger! Danger! Danger!!) Before I get to the danger, I have to share this awesome conversation with my grandparents about their 54th wedding anniversary:

grandma: blah, blah, blah...very subtle "do you know what the 20th of this month is?"

me: "I don't know...I'm going to guess, I'm sure someone has a birthday that day...I mean someone in the world had to have been born on that day, right?"

grandma: "Well, yes, your uncle tim was born that day...but that's not what I meant."

me: "Well, I wasn't totally wrong now was I?"

grandpa: "Marsha, this will go quicker if you just tell her." (I always love when he drops the Marsha bomb on her ass!!)

grandma: "It's our anniversary. Our 54th anniversary"

me: "Holy crap! You've been waking up and looking at the same face across from your coffee cup every morning for 54 years?!?!? What is that like?"

grandpa: "Well not the same face. She's aged a lot in 54 years!"

grandma: "That is not true"

me: "Do you ever pretend she's someone else just to switch it up?" (sadly neither of them answer my serious inquiry here....)

grandpa: "My sister's been married for 69 years last month."

me: "Well that's kind of a magical number I'll never reach....

grandma: "I don't get it"

me: "...because I got married much later in life than you guys did. But wow! 54 and 69 years. Shit...opps shoot! I was happy just to make it to 3 years this year! Now I'm not feeling so accomplished, thanks gram"

grandpa: "Beck, we all had to get to 3 years before we could see 54 years."

Every now and then, my grandpa says some really deep things! I also love that he said she aged a lot!!  My grandpa is an awesome guy!!

Now back to my story...
While that awesome conversation was going on, Nixon was playing quietly. He was playing car wash. He was washing his matchbox cars. He was washing his cars, in the toilet, and rinsing them in my bathroom sink!! And he was being super quiet about it too! My bathroom looked like a flood zone. Nixon got tossed into the bathtub (after I filled it with water, of course!). The cars were given a bleach bath in the kitchen sink. And I....learned anytime a toddler is quiet AND out of your sight, he's getting into trouble or sleeping! 
Nixon was NOT sleeping.

While writing this blog, Nixon flooded the kitchen...with Nursery Water. Seriously...fuck my life!!!  Is it too late to rethink this whole parenting gig?? Or maybe I should just not be writing blogs while Nixon's awake?? Nah...what fun would that be right?? I mean that's seriously just taking the easy way out!

Here's to another flooded room in the house. 

OR

Another clean floor. 
See...cup half full kind of day! Of course it's a bullshit way of looking at it, but it's keeping me from looking for that donation box......