Saturday, April 19, 2014

Sometimes an uncomfortable conversation really isn't that bad

   Nixon and I were in the car last week. We had stopped at a red light, and on the same corner was a Chick-Fil-A. Nixon saw the play tunnels inside the store and says "Look Mom, fun tunnels!"
   I sigh, hard, because I knew one day my personal choices to not ever step foot in a Chick-Fil-A would need to be explained to my young child. That day suddenly became the day.

me: Nixon, I'm sorry, but I will never take you into that store to play in those tunnels.
Nixon: Oh man. But why not?
me: The man that actually owns that store name, has said some things I can't support.
Nixon: Is he mean?
me: No, but he has his beliefs and I have mine.
      You know Miss N and Miss A, and how they are married, right?
Nixon: Uh-huh and they have baby R now!
me: Exactly! They are a family just like you, Daddy and I are. But the man who owns those stores think that Miss A and Miss N are wrong because they are 2 girls who married each other, instead of marrying a man like I did.
Nixon: But they love each other and have a baby! *he was really upset when he said that. I thought he was going to cry*
me: I know they are, baby. And they're happy together. They have the same thing Daddy and I have: love and happiness.
      Because that man feels the way he does and because I don't believe that Miss N and Miss A are wrong for being in love and marrying the person they love, I won't go to those stores. Not even to play in tunnels.

And here is where my kid blows my mind!
Nixon: It's okay, Mommy. I know where there are other tunnels I can play in. We can go there instead.

    And just like that, everything was right in his little world again!

Thursday, April 17, 2014

When the kiddo is sick, mom gets the most uncomfortable sleep ever

   Nixon's got a cold. He's super congested but is also a total snot-faucet. It's a faucet that's got a slow but continuous leak.

   Now, when Nixon is not sick, he is the best sleeper ever! He sleeps through the night every night only getting up to go to the bathroom and then right back to sleep. However, when he is sick he wakes up in near hysterics because he can't breathe.
   That was what happened last night.
   Mac and I rushed upstairs to get him and calm him down. Nothing was working, he was only getting more upset and coughing harder as a result. It wasn't until I asked him if he felt like he was going to be sick that I understood why he was so upset: Nixon hates vomiting of any kind and really wants to be in the bathroom if he is going to vomit. Last night he had so much phlegm in his throat it was making him vomit.
   Poor baby.
   Mac grabbed him a small cup of juice and I rubbed his back while he was in the bathroom trying to let himself get sick. After a few minutes in there he finally started to relax and wanted to go back in his bed. Mac and I both sat on the floor next to his bed and waited for him to fall asleep.
   That wasn't happening. Eventually, Nixon decided dad had to go but he wanted me to get into bed with him. Thank gods I'm short! I crawled into bed with him and rested next to him for over half an hour. I think. A little after midnight, when I heard Nixon's breathing change to a deep sleep breathing, I tried to leave and go to my bed.
   Nixon woke up and asked where I was going. I told him and he freaked out! "No, Mommy, you can't leave me!". I caved, went to my nice big and warm bed only to grab my pillow and a blanket. I returned to Nixon's room and slept in the foldout flip chair he has in there.
   I slept there until he woke up at 6:45 this morning. He kept trying to talk to me and I am not a morning person. I got up and finally got to crawl into my nice warm bed....for a couple hours at least.

   My whole body aches this morning, from sleeping on that foldout chair. But, being Nixon's mom, I'd do it all over again, if he asked me too.

   Because, seriously, when he's sick I do anything to make him feel better. even if it means I've got a kink in my neck the next morning.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Socially awkward mom....was not me today!



   I had a job interview this morning. I'm not saying I got the job, because I won't hear about it for at least a week, but I am saying I went in and was totally myself. Starting with being totally directionally challenged at the beginning. I'm the type of person who says "left" but points right, which in my head means I meant right. My finger is always correct while my mouth tends to lie. I'd give you some deep meaning to that, but the truth is I'm just odd and it drives Mac nuts!
   I was told to go "right", but I saw no finger so I was looking for a left. DOH!
   After that, I was at ease, candid and honest. The interview went well, I was interviewed by 2 people one who is a mother herself and also had a 5 year employment gap in her resume. It's comforting to know I'm not alone.

   After the interview, I went home and changed then it was time to pick up Nixon from school. Nixon had another great day at school, making it 2 weeks in a row of all good reports!

    I called Mac and asked if he was okay with me taking Nixon to Chuck E Cheese for a surprise. He was and after Nixon and I stopped home a bit, we were off.
    Nixon was so surprised when we arrived! He was super happy too!

    Shortly after Nixon had tokens in hand, he ran over to this one pirate game that is a shooter game. He loves it! As it turned out there was another kid Nixon's age that loves the game as well. They played together as a team for over half an hour! At one point his mom came over and we started talking. Turns out the kids are a month apart and there was a chance they'd be going to the same elementary school! She's new to the area and didn't know anyone else with a child going to the same school.
    Before they left, we exchanged phone numbers with vague promises for a future play date for the boys.

   For once, just once, I didn't fail at basic human interactions!

   Too bad the rest of the day fell to shit after that awesome high point.....

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Trying to teach him to be graceful when faced with disappointment

  Nixon got a Rescue Bots Beam Box for Christmas. It was his big gift from Mac and I. He loves it, really loves it, but he's not always great at dealing with not being good at one particular stage. Even though he has the option to not play this stage, he insists on playing it and getting frustrated every time he doesn't pass it.

   Today, as he playing it with his newest character he was getting more and more angry while on this one stage. I finally had enough of his outbursts Mac is sleeping because he worked last night and went to a comic signing this morning, and his constant turning on/off the game to get out of this stage. It was time to teach him the truth about life: No one is good at everything all the time.

me: Nixon, calm down. It's okay to not be good at one part of the game.
Nixon: But this one is so hard! I'm just not good at it.
me: Nixon it's okay. The important thing is you need to learn how to deal with disappointments like not being good at a part of the video game.
Nixon: It's not right. I'm just a screw-up.
*I hate that he says this when he's bad at something*
me: Nixon, you're not a screw-up. You just aren't great at this stage. You can either try harder to get better or stop playing it. What you need to do is accept disappointment with grace.
Nixon: I don't want to play anymore.
me: That's fine, you don't have to play. But you can't keep turning the game on and off just because you're not good at a part of it.
Nixon: Why not?
me: Because you aren't learning anything by doing that. You're just giving up to avoid the disappointment of not being the best at this stage.
You are so good at other parts of the game! It's okay to be less than perfect at one part. No one is good at everything all the time. I just don't want to see you giving up. Learn to deal with the disappointments in life.

He's not getting the concept of failures and disappointments easily, but I'm working on reminding him he doesn't (and won't) always be perfect. It's a tough lesson to learn, but I'm not raising him to believe he'll always win or be the best or that he has to be perfect at everything he does. All I ask is he does his best and completes the task he's working on.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Random conversation I wish I didn't have to have with my 5-year-old


Nixon: Look mom!
me: Umm.....what, the...?!?!
*he has an unsharpened pencil in his underwear*
Nixon: I put this in my undies! *laughs hysterically*
me: No! Just no! You do not put toys, markers, pencils or anything else in your undies!
Nixon: Why not?!
me: Because your undies are for your butt and peenie only.
Nixon: Oh man.

I should be grateful he's wearing undies, since earlier he declared undies to be "dumb and stupid" and spent 30 minutes in the bathroom, because he's allowed to not wear undies in there.

Updated: Nixon has also been walking around with only one sock on. Evidently, there was something wrong with the other one "There was something in my sock". When I offered "Your foot?", he refused to see the humor I was offering him and instead replied "Well, yeah but something else too. But I took my sock off and everything's all better now. Everythingisawesome!"
*yes he did sing that last part. Thank you Lego Movie commercials*

Thursday, February 6, 2014

He's big, smart and has a mouth like his momma.....in that he never stops talking!

   Today was Nixon's 5-year well child doctor's appointment. Yes, he did turn 5 almost 3 months ago, but his 4-year was after his birthday and apparently this one had to be more than a year after his last visit.

    His visit started rough. He didn't want to go get his height and weight checked. Then he didn't want to go into the exam room. Eventually,it all worked out, because I had a bag of tricks ready for him. Plus the exam room had a book he was obsessed with!

   The doctor came in, did his exam and asked a few questions. Then came the most awesome conversation Nixon has ever has with another person....ever! I was almost in tears from laughing so hard!

Doc: *doing the testicular exam* Has this mole changed in size at all?
me: Nope, it's the same size as it's always been.
Nixon: That's because I don't get pee on it from my peenie! That hole is where my water comes out. Then I pee!
Doc: That's good.
Nixon: And I have another hole for poop!
Doc: You do?!? Where is it?
Nixon: The hole is in my BUTT! My poop comes out my butt and pee comes from my peenie!
*I am dying, by this point*
Doc: Does it ever hurt when you poop?
Nixon: Nope! I make big "S"s in the toilet with my poop! I poop a lot!
Doc: So, constipation....not an issue with him is it?!
me: Nope, he's got healthy insides.


Yep, that's my son! Making my laugh so hard I almost cry while listening to him tell his doctor about poop and pee!

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

This is a bold, raw, nakedly honest post....sorry.

    I've been struggling...postponing?....avoiding?....delaying the inevitable disappointment?....uh, maybe I should just start again.

    I've been a stay-at-home-mom since less than a week before Nixon's birth. That was the last time I was gainfully employed. In the five years since his birth, I've filled out/turned in/interviewed for and gotten offered exactly one job. Unfortunately, due to Mac's work schedule being rumored to be completely overhauled I had to turn down the job, only to find out less than a week later, the "sure thing" schedule change wasn't going to happen after all and I'd turned down the job for no reason but it was too late to try to get it back because training for the position had already started.
   I had stressed, panicked and gotten anxious over the entire process, even going so far to psyche myself out during the waiting period before I even got the call that I was offered the job. It was so upsetting when I had to call and turn down the job offer. And even more upsetting when it was all for naught.

    So here I am, application waiting to be filled out, for a different job, and I've been stalling for weeks now! Not because I don't think I'll get the job or even because I don't want the job I'm applying for, in fact it's a great change of pace from my previous jobs while still utilizing all the skills I've acquired over the years. It's outside of my comfort zone, but in a place that I know I can truly be happy and feel like I'm doing something worthwhile every day....if I get the job.
   So why is it I only now, just quite literally moments ago, finished the application?

   Because I'm in a funk. I don't feel worthy of even trying to compete for a job that I realize I'm quite qualified for. I'm barely qualified to care for Nixon most days, it feels like to me, and yet here I am trying to (or at least considering) getting a job outside of the house?! Am I nuts?? Who is seriously going to look at my application and want to hire me? There's no spot on the application to write: "I hope you take into consideration that it took me nearly a month to complete and turn in the application because I'm so sure I won't ever get called for an interview I certain this is a waste of paper and trees were killed in vein for no reason." Yeah, somehow I doubt even if there was room for that, I still wouldn't get an interview.

   I need to get a job, even just a part-time one. Mac retires in 5 months. We talked, mostly seriously, just this evening about purchasing a house instead of renting within the next 6 months, when our current lease is up. This is some serious grown-up shit y'all! I'm looking at houses because of the school district they're in, not because they're necessarily the best fit. I'm considering SCHOOL DISTRICTS!! I know the top 3 elementary schools in the area we live in right now and I'm searching to find a place that will get Nixon in one of those 3 schools. I'm considering potential job locales Mac may end up at, and trying to look for houses close to major highways while still keeping in mind school districts.
    I can do all that and not freak, but me? Apply for a job? Yeah, then I freak. And delay. And worry that my 5 year employment gap will be a hindrance or how should I explain other past employment questions. I prepare for interview questions before I even drop-off an application. Overkill much?

     I thought, if I messaged people to ask to use them as references, I'd be motivated to finish the application and turn it in.
    Nope.
    I guess I'm hoping if I write this, and put this out where I know it will be seen by friends, family members and even total strangers, then maybe that will force me to turn it in. It's completed. I'm adding the phone numbers I have for my references as soon as this is posted.
    I probably can't drop it off tomorrow because there's a snow storm coming and we're predicted to get 4-6 inches of snow, which means it'll be a good idea to stay home. Wednesday maybe possible, although I may have to take Nixon with me...is that awful? To bring my child with me just to drop-off an application? Shit, see now I think I should wait until Friday because Mac will be home and he can watch Nixon while I drop it off and maybe try to talk to a supervisor when I do. But then....I could email it in, I have the ability to scan it, but I always preferred to hand an application in, in person, but that was over 5 years ago so maybe emailing it in is actually better than doing it in person? I'd get it turned it quicker.....I suppose I could email it tomorrow and then call Friday to check if it's been received... aaaaaaaaaaaaand welcome to the entire thought process that I go through as I over think and freak out over a simple job application!

    I don't remember ever freaking out like this, preNixon job search days. But now it seems there's so much more riding on it that I need to find something that works for him, for me and around Mac's schedule for now.
   At least I've got insurance already. I don't need to worry about that mess.