Friday, July 19, 2013

Some things are better left unsaid....other things should just never be thought of. Then there's conversations like this that make you wonder how I manage to raise a kid as wonderful and awesome as Nixon in the first place!

   All my moms out there, you can relate to this, I'm sure. It's easier to just pee with the door open then try to close the door and go. It really does save time, because you can actually go undisturbed most of the time. But as soon as that door closes it's like a giant neon sign lights up with an alarm that only small children and pets can hear that says "Quick, she's in the bathroom, you must go and bother her RIGHT NOW!" over and over and over again, until you open the door at which point the sign and said alarm magically disappear.
    I'm sure my lack of needing privacy to pee also comes from spending months sharing a bathroom with over 20 girls in Army, and having friends like F who would be naked all the time if she could be. It's peeing, we all do it.

    Which brings me to this morning's fresh-out-of-bed conversation with Nixon.
Nixon: *looking at me from the waist down, very intently* Where's your peenie, Mommy?
me: *chuckling* Honey, I don't have a peenie because I'm a girl. I have a vagina. Only boys have peenies
Nixon: I have a peenie. Daddy has a peenie too.
me: Yep, because you both are boys. I'm a girl, so no peenie for me. Trust me, I'm a little disappointed by that too.
Nixon: Where did your peenie go?
me: I never had one.
Nixon: Never?!?
me: Nope, I've always had a vagina. I've always had to pee sitting down.
Nixon: I did too. But then I learneded to pee standing up like big boys. Like Daddy does. Because I'm growing up and I'm a boy!
me: Yep, you sure are.
Nixon: Can you buy a peenie?
me: Well, kind of...but I still don't think I could pee from it.
Nixon: I like peeing standing up. Being a boy is awesome!
me: Just rub that in. And don't thank me, thank Daddy. I only have girls in me.
Nixon: Huh?

   We ended the talk there, because I hadn't had my coffee yet and I tend to get cranky and say massively inappropriate things without coffee. Like almost explaining to a 4-year old strap-ons.
    In other, unrelated news: I'm thinking of giving Nixon a My Little Pony temporary tattoo sleeve. I think it'd be awesome, and he's totally digging the idea!

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