Sunday, May 6, 2012

swinging back into reality speeding down I-95 with the radio cranked and windows down

...it might be I-75 now that I think about it. 


As it turns out, flying from Okinawa to Maryland isn't the only long trip I have in my future. Due to a ton of circumstances beyond pretty much any one's control, it looked like we were only going to get one of our 2 cars back from Miami when we got to Maryland. Plans had been tentatively made but then an incredible once-in-a-lifetime opportunity arose for one family member, another family member had work obligations come up and my mother-in-law has an injury that keeps her from being able to do a long road trip at all, let alone doing the driving for it. 


But, we really need both of our cars ASAP, and it seems silly to have one person drive one car up, then pay for a plane ticket back to Miami only to do it again in X amount of time with our other car. As much as we'd said (and meant) we weren't going to fly down and drive the cars up ourselves, it was becoming obvious that either we give a little on that or we pay for a rental car for one of us, until we get the other car. Common sense and being a responsible adult won out in the end and I won a one-way ticket to Miami followed by a road trip to Maryland. Alone in the car. Without Nixon. Without Mac. For the longer than just a few hours, for the first time since Nixon's been born. And it's all happening just 16 hours after our arrival in Baltimore! 


I'll be honest...I'm scared to death about leaving mac and Nixon alone, without me to referee. The two of them have been horrible together lately. Nixon is overwhelmed by all the moving and seeing his whole world packed up into boxes and put on a truck that pulled away to places unknown, at least unknown in his little 3-year old mind. His sleep schedule is crap, his temper is quick and he's just one big emotionally raw kiddo. Mac, is just as stressed, and gets super annoyed by Nixon's outbursts, over the littlest things. Absolutely everything Nixon does seems to set Mac off about how Nixon should just behave and understand that he needs to behave better. We're all overwhelmed. We're all stressed. We're all anxious. And we all need a little space and time apart from each other, which isn't going to happen right away, but did play a BIG part in my volunteering to fly to Miami and drive one of our cars up. 


This mommy needs a break and 16-18.5 hours in the car, alone with my own music choices, thoughts and emotions should be enough to help get me started on letting go of the emotional garbage I've got growing inside me. 


As for Mac and Nixon....if they can't function for a day and half without me, and NOT kill each other, we've got bigger issues than I realized. This is good for them. They need to time together without me.
(Thankfully, my besties Franny and Claire will still be around for at least a day while I'm road tripping up the East Coast.)

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