It seemed like such a good idea....at the time.

   Self-soothing and infants. It was something I had no clue about before Nixon came along and I was in no way prepared for it. Turned out, though, my little bundle of love came with his very own self-soothing tools, no assembly required! I know all you soon-to-be moms are sitting on the edge of your seats right now DYING to know what the bloody hell I'm talking about so you can rush right out and stock up before your little bundles arrive, am I right?!?! I beg of you.....DO NOT, I can't emphasis this enough, DO NOT make my mistake!! It was not a toy that Nixon learned to self-sooth with. Oh no, those I can easily hide and avoid these days. No, his self-soothing tool of choice?? His first 2 fingers on his right hand!!! That's right...HIS damned FINGERS!!! They are attached to him and he is WAY attached to them!

Nixon's 12 week ultrasound...notice the hand by the mouth?

   When Nixon was in the womb, we saw on ultrasounds, he had his fingers in his mouth. This was a sign!!!! But to Mac and I, in our totally ignorant and blissed out, parents-to-be bliss, we found it A-dor-ABLE! "Awww, look he's sucking his fingers. He is so cute!!" NOOOOOOOOOO, I should have been thinking, get those fucking fingers out of your mouth!! How the hell am I going to break of of a habit that revolves around your own body parts?!?!? I mean seriously?!?! The only thing worst than a finger-sucker, in my biased opinion, is a compulsive masturbating child! And I'm not even completely sold on that comparison, because by the time a child figures out masturbation you should be able to at least convey the idea of privacy and what belongs behind closed doors. So what if you never see Jimmy or Sally for a couple years, at least you know they're not hurting themselves beyond a wicked case of carpal tunnel syndrome....hmmm, maybe that's how mine got started???? WOW....way off topic!

Nixon's 20 week ultrasound, fingers in mouth....again or still.  

    Nixon was just a few weeks old when he started using his fingers to soothe himself all the time. I of course thought "awesome! no pacifiers in my house!" How dumb was I?? 

Nixon's birth announcement photo...where are his fingers?? He was only 2 days old!!! I never had a fighting chance against this habit. But it's not too late for you moms! 

    My point...I know I had a point. Oh yeah! Here I am, with a 3-year old, who still is sucking his fingers! In the car? Sucking his fingers. In the middle of the night? You bet your ass, he'll be sucking his fingers. Just walking around outside? I promise you, those fingers will find a way into his mouth! So what seemed like a wonderful and amazing gift from the gods as an infant, is now quickly becoming the bane of my mommy-existence. 

    Our car rides sound like this:

(from the back seat): suck, sucks, suck

me: *without even looking behind at Nixon* Nixon please take your fingers out of your mouth.

Nixon: okay, mommy

repeat 3 minutes later

repeat 5 minutes later

I swear half the time he doesn't even realize he's doing it!

   I tried putting sports tape on his fingers. He pulled it off in less than 10 minutes. I've put band aids on his fingers, turns out he kind of enjoys the taste (GROSS, right?!?!). I lightly coated his two fingers with Tabasco, which he started wiping off before putting the fingers in his mouth. At one point I saw him wipe it off on the cat! He's determined to put those fingers in his mouth! 

    Please, try at all costs, to keep your child from becoming a finger or thumb sucker!

**This has been my public service announcement for the month of January. Expect more to come, perhaps once a month, perhaps not.**