Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Things I've learned during my week as a "mom of 2"

This blog is a little premature, as my week with Peanut doesn't end until the 2nd, but I've learned some things while having 2 kids in my care.

First, moms of multiple children must have a hidden supply of wine. I'm serious. If your house sounded like "my" house this week, and you're still sane, you must be drunk! I don't know how *you* do it with more than one kid. This weekend, I woke up not wanting a cup of coffee but craving a glass of wine...at 7am! It's not normal for me to want something besides coffee in the morning. 

Speaking of coffee, I've had no fewer than 3 cups a day, since last week. The fact that I had to sneak a cup before speaking to the kids, just so I don't snap because my internal coffee tank is on 'E', is not something I'm proud of but it was a fact none-the-less. 

The whining....it's CONTAGIOUS?!?!? Nixon's not a big whiner, but he is screechy. I know he can be annoying, but Peanut would whine about something not being exactly what she wanted and Nixon would start whining over her, and about NOTHING! And with whining comes her evil twin sister, pouting! Nixon doesn't pout. He fake cries, which I will say is annoying, but he's not a real pouter. Peanut? She's a professional pouter, right down to the silent treatment when she doesn't get her way. Is it a girl thing??

Not all kids respond to my dry sarcasm, apparently. Nixon will laugh or ignore me. Peanut would try to reason with me, when I'm not being serious, which eventually would lead to the aforementioned pouting. 

No toy is as good as the one someone else has....including drooled on dog toys! Gross, but there were arguments over dog toys.

Someone is always "right", but they don't always accept it or care. 

Singing in the car, or house, might lead to a screaming match in the backseat. Peanut likes to sing. Nixon likes me singing to him. Nixon does not like anyone else singing. Poor Peanut would just start a song and Nixon would be yelling for her to stop. She'd start whining that she was just singing and Nixon would yell louder for her to "Be quiet! Stop singing!". I did eventually get him to ask her politely to stop singing, but I'm sure I fucked up that whole situation. She's a cute singer, Dream Lights commercial being her go-to song of choice this week, and since I sing nonsense songs ALL the time I'm not one to silence any one's singing. But I can not drive safely with 2 kids going to war in the backseat! (How do you teach a child tolerance?)

If you tell a child he can't do something, he wants to do it more. Peanut goes to daycare full-time. Dropping her off meant taking Nixon into the school with us and then forcing him to leave all the cool, "new" to him toys behind, untouched. This....did not go over well. Yes, I do think its time to find a daycare or preschool for Nixon but until we find one we can afford, I'm the mom with the screaming child leaving the daycare in the morning. 

Kids, even accidental temporary siblings, can make you want to pull out your hair one minute and cry the next. Instead of an off/on switch, I'm pretty sure these two have a love/hate switch. From whining and tattling one minute, to hugging and holding each other's hands the next. Amazingly adorable!!

You can't please all the kids some of the time....or is it you please none of the kids all the time? I was not making the right choices, according to one of them most of the time. From dinner choices to who gets to choose a tv show. someone was almost certainly going to be pouting. 

Most importantly, my attention span isn't big enough for 2 kids! I can't focus on multiple voices plus complete another task, at the same time.   

So moms of multiples, I tip my hat to you and humbly say: You are better women than I. I'm doing this gig for a limited time only, you do it full-time! Please, feel free to vent about your kids....I get it now! And I promise, I won't judge you. 

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