Things I've learned during my week as a "mom of 2"

This blog is a little premature, as my week with Peanut doesn't end until the 2nd, but I've learned some things while having 2 kids in my care.


First, moms of multiple children must have a hidden supply of wine. I'm serious. If your house sounded like "my" house this week, and you're still sane, you must be drunk! I don't know how *you* do it with more than one kid. This weekend, I woke up not wanting a cup of coffee but craving a glass of wine...at 7am! It's not normal for me to want something besides coffee in the morning. 


Speaking of coffee, I've had no fewer than 3 cups a day, since last week. The fact that I had to sneak a cup before speaking to the kids, just so I don't snap because my internal coffee tank is on 'E', is not something I'm proud of but it was a fact none-the-less. 


The whining....it's CONTAGIOUS?!?!? Nixon's not a big whiner, but he is screechy. I know he can be annoying, but Peanut would whine about something not being exactly what she wanted and Nixon would start whining over her, and about NOTHING! And with whining comes her evil twin sister, pouting! Nixon doesn't pout. He fake cries, which I will say is annoying, but he's not a real pouter. Peanut? She's a professional pouter, right down to the silent treatment when she doesn't get her way. Is it a girl thing??


Not all kids respond to my dry sarcasm, apparently. Nixon will laugh or ignore me. Peanut would try to reason with me, when I'm not being serious, which eventually would lead to the aforementioned pouting. 


No toy is as good as the one someone else has....including drooled on dog toys! Gross, but there were arguments over dog toys.


Someone is always "right", but they don't always accept it or care. 


Singing in the car, or house, might lead to a screaming match in the backseat. Peanut likes to sing. Nixon likes me singing to him. Nixon does not like anyone else singing. Poor Peanut would just start a song and Nixon would be yelling for her to stop. She'd start whining that she was just singing and Nixon would yell louder for her to "Be quiet! Stop singing!". I did eventually get him to ask her politely to stop singing, but I'm sure I fucked up that whole situation. She's a cute singer, Dream Lights commercial being her go-to song of choice this week, and since I sing nonsense songs ALL the time I'm not one to silence any one's singing. But I can not drive safely with 2 kids going to war in the backseat! (How do you teach a child tolerance?)


If you tell a child he can't do something, he wants to do it more. Peanut goes to daycare full-time. Dropping her off meant taking Nixon into the school with us and then forcing him to leave all the cool, "new" to him toys behind, untouched. This....did not go over well. Yes, I do think its time to find a daycare or preschool for Nixon but until we find one we can afford, I'm the mom with the screaming child leaving the daycare in the morning. 


Kids, even accidental temporary siblings, can make you want to pull out your hair one minute and cry the next. Instead of an off/on switch, I'm pretty sure these two have a love/hate switch. From whining and tattling one minute, to hugging and holding each other's hands the next. Amazingly adorable!!


You can't please all the kids some of the time....or is it you please none of the kids all the time? I was not making the right choices, according to one of them most of the time. From dinner choices to who gets to choose a tv show. someone was almost certainly going to be pouting. 




Most importantly, my attention span isn't big enough for 2 kids! I can't focus on multiple voices plus complete another task, at the same time.   


So moms of multiples, I tip my hat to you and humbly say: You are better women than I. I'm doing this gig for a limited time only, you do it full-time! Please, feel free to vent about your kids....I get it now! And I promise, I won't judge you. 

Ode to Coffee....

coffee...my love, my heart. 

I love how you smell
I love how you taste
I wait for you to brew, I sometimes love that teasing wait
I love you hot
I love you cold
I'll drink you black

Boss coffee vending machine...it's a Japan thing

I'll drink you bitter
I'll drink you with cream
I'll drink you a little sweet
I'll drink you from a cup 
I'll drink you from a can...thank you Japan for the joys of coffee in a can

funny and true!          

Oh coffee!
I make you at home
I pay for you when I'm out
My family and friends know you're the best gift to send me for any occasion
Coffee, let's be honest
I'm your bitch and you are my master
A bad cup of you is better than no cup at all
I'm sorry...don't hate me...there's no such thing as a bad cup of coffee!
DON'T LEAVE ME COFFEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Oh coffee I love you!
I eat your lovely beans covered in chocolate...so yummy and tasty
I love espresso laced tiramisu it's coffee, cake and icing on one plate..practically nirvana!

coffee body scrub... it's awesome!

Oh coffee!
You even help make my skin glow with your exfoliating ways!





















Coffee, oh coffee
I love you, I need you, I crave you
I'm pretty sure I'm addicted to you
And I don't care who knows!

The post office gave me better gifts than my husband...too bad I have to buy everything first...I feel so cheated now.

This is me, with my custom mug...and it's all true!

Yesterday was not my typical run-of-the-mill post office day. First I had to take Nixon and try to redeem myself as the "Best Aunt Ever" to my niece, Violet. Her first birthday was the 18th of this month and I had totally let the month slip by without getting her gift. I knew one thing I wanted to get her...because Mac had suggested it (her name in Kanji, just like I'd gotten for her sister). So I stopped and ordered that yesterday morning after mac's haircut. Then, since Nixon decided NOT to nap at his usual time, so he came with me to get the rest of Violet's gifts..
Can I just say.....I have no clue what to shop for when it comes to buying for a baby girl?!?!? The clothes alone left me baffled and confused!! I mean, honestly, leggings, ruffles bottoms, skorts, tights, skirts.....I was loosing my mind!!! So I picked two complete outfits, that looked cute and like something I would put a daughter I had in, which might not be something Snotface would pick for her daughters...so it's perfect! Then, Nixon picked out a babydoll for his cousin! And we were done!! (And I sent a thankful prayer to the goddesses for sending me a boy because I can shop for a boy, girls almost cause me to break out the paper bag and breath deeply into it!)

Nixon was ready for a nap after that, so I took him home, got the gifts ready to ship and then off to the post office. (Don't worry, he wasn't home alone, Mac was home sleeping as well, since he was working last night. So I told Mac I was leaving and he knew Nixon might get up and wander into our bedroom. Geez....what kind of mom do you think I am?!?!?) I love the drive to the post office, even in the rain! It's a nice 10-15 minute drive and by myself, it's pure heaven. I can listen to a podcast or my favorite angry chick music or anything that Mac is not a fan of. Or nothing at all. Sometimes, like yesterday, I turn off the radio and I listened to the wipers swish across the windshield and the rain beat on the roof of car. I also heard the thunder boom overhead. It was so soothing, since thunderstorms like the one we had yesterday are a rarity and something I missed, without even realizing I was missing them. 

Now, where was I?!?!? Oh yeah...the post office. So I got there, checked our box and we had no notices of packages to be picked up. I grabbed Violet's box, and went to send it out. While I was filling out the customs form (BIGGEST pain in the ass ever!! I can not wait to never have to fill one of those out again!!) 3 package slips went into our box!! So, because our post office staff is kind of awesome, they grabbed the packages while I paid for the shipping. HELLOS all the shits for me!!! (This is exciting because it almost never happens that way!)


First, the exciting envelope: big thing of coupons from a facebook friend. Epic score!
Second, really fast shipped electronic: new 9 cell battery for my netbook. Shits yeah no more charging this bitch every 45-56 minutes, suckas!!


And finally, the creme-dela-creme box: my brand new, custom ordered coffee mug!!!! But I'd rather add pictures than just try to tell you about the awesomeness. 

Close up of the mug

This was my morning setup....sometimes I have to bribe myself to get out of bed. New mug, preset coffee and caramel coffee syrup was my bribe today.