He may be an ass....but that ass is my kid!

  

this is the squeaker toy face

Three was a hard age. I think most parents agree that of the first few years, three is one of the hardest. The tantrums alone make you want to drink (or drug your child....some days it's a real struggle to decide which of those options is the winning one). Then there's the talking back, the never-ending "NO!" coming out of your child's mouth and the absolute power struggle over everything! I love Nixon to death, but I almost loved him to death! He drove me batty more than once (a day) and there were days that I seriously questioned myself as a mom. Surely, if I was doing the very best I could as a mom, he wouldn't be acting like such an ass! Yes, there I said it. My kid was a total ass sometimes! I still loved him, but gods alive he can be a real ass!
   However, I remind myself of a couple things: 
1) this is a mostly normal phase in every child's life, and 
2) I'll never have to go through it again. So all I have to do is survive this phase, once, with Nixon and it'll all be behind us. 

   But for a while it seemed it was never going to end. The tantrums in public were still a common occurrence no matter how many times I left a store with him throwing a tantrum. The talking back was mind-numbingly constant. And he'd talk back about everything! 
me: Nixon, what do you want for lunch?
Nixon: NOTHING! I am never going to eat...forever! 
me: Okay.
Nixon: I said I want peanut butter and jelly for lunch!
^^ true story!
   Yesterday, that all changed. I'm seriously concerned that an alien abducted my child and replaced him with a marvelous, well-behaved clone. (thank you, aliens!) 

   Nixon and I had a mommy and me date, of sorts. Mac is working nights, so I do my best to get Nixon out of the house and give Mac a couple peaceful hours of sleep. Santa was the perfect excuse to get Nixon out of the house yesterday. He hasn't seen Santa this year and it's the first year Nixon is super excited about Santa.

   We left early to beat any possible crowds.

   We arrived and found 3 families ahead of us, all with much younger kids. Nixon was not enjoying the squeaker toy the photographer was using to get the little ones attention. In fact, he hated it. (He's still sensitive to some sounds.)

    Finally, it was Nixon's turn with Santa! My goodness, Nixon just lit up and stared at Santa. He was in total awe of the man! He quickly sat on his lap and took a few photos. The photographer commented on how Nixon's smile was "too squinty". Not wanting to ruin the moment, I ignored the comment, but the bitch in me wanted to say "He's got Asian blood in him, he can't help but be squinty!" I totally said it in my mind!
   After Santa we grabbed a cookie. Mall cookies are the best, right?!?! Nixon sat quietly and ate his cookie. I think he was Santa-awed, but whatever it was I'll take it. I wasn't losing my mind and he wasn't acting an ass.     The best part of the day happened while we were in Target. I was picking up some more stocking stuffers and getting things for the cats (Arwen hates me, I bought a Santa hat with beard attached for cats and made her wear it!) 
   Nixon was on point with his "excuse me" when we were walking down a crowded area and his "please" and "thank you". I got 2 compliments on his manners. One was from an older woman who heard Nixon say "excuse me" as we walked by her. "Mom, you should be proud. I don't hear grown adults using excuse me like your son just did." The second was the cashier who said to Nixon "You have some wonderful manners, young man."! (Nixon said "please" and "may I have" when he asked for the trucks I'd bought for him)

    I could not have loved my son more at that point, if I tried! I was so proud of him AND it made me realize I'm doing a good job as his mom. 

    Am I a perfect mom? Hell no! I cuss too much, use too much sarcasm around him and I don't always keep my cool when he's acting an ass. But I'm doing somethings right because my little man uses manners and I'm not even having to prompt him to do it these days. 

    Am I a perfect mom? NO. But don't tell Nixon that. He think I'm the best mom ever. And I get hugs, kisses and "I love you, mom" all day long! Even if I'm not the most perfect mom, I'm the best mom he has and he's not screwed up yet. 

   So, yes, my kid can be an ass. But you know what? I think it's normal to be slightly ass-tastic when you're being raised by a less than perfect mom. But together, we make a pretty awesome team!

"too squinty"?? Too cute, if you ask me!

Arwen, in her Santa hat and beard.

So it's December....how the flying crap did that happen?!?!

    The topic of the moment, at least in our house, is Santa. When do we take Nixon to see him? What is Santa bringing Nixon? Who's paying for the pictures with Santa? All the really important burning Santa-related questions. But no conversation would be complete without Mac over-thinking things and making things a bigger issue than they have to be.

   I'll explain.

  Nixon will make his list for Santa, and while there's no limit to what he can ask Santa for, Santa will only bring one gift for Nixon. The gift has already been picked out (will most likely be purchased next week) and might not even be on Nixon's list, but "Santa" knows Nixon will love it!
  Now the over-thinking. We've agreed Santa will only give one or two gifts to Nixon. Mac is worried that Nixon will get hurt and made fun of when he goes to school and learns from other kids that their Santa brought them a whole bunch of gifts! Nixon's not even in school yet, and yes while I'd like to protect him from being made fun of and bullies, we can't run our family to avoid that. The best we can do is make sure Nixon is comfortable at home and confident in himself. Mac and I were both bullied as kids, and it really sucked... a lot, but there is absolutely nothing we can do to prevent it from happening to Nixon that will make him a strong person. Nixon is pretty damned comfortable being who he is, at 4-years old, and if we're really lucky as parents he'll keep that confidence throughout life. And if not, he'll have to learn how to be an individual and not follow the crowd the hard way. Life's not easy.

    Nixon will see Santa at the local Mall. It's not going to be as cheap as the last 3 years, because it's not going to be by donation only. But the mall Santa looks like someone's grandpa and we can go on one of Mac's days off during the week and avoid the wicked weekend lines. Nixon's even excited about seeing Santa this year!

   And one more, super local exciting thing is the Jolly Express Cruise. A 45-minute cruise on a small vessel, adorned with antlers, red nose and playing carols! With Santa at the helm! I know Mac might not truly be into this, but Nixon will go ape-shit over it and I'll be honest, I'm a little ape-shit about it too! Mac missed out on hayrides and the pumpkin patch with us, so I think this will be extra special for the 3 of us.

   Really....how on earth did December just sneak up on us??

If you bitch, they will come (A happy ending to the Santa picture fiasco!)

   Last night during a random but awesome video conversation with my cousin, those damned Santa photos were brought up. How? I don't recall, but that's because it's very hard to follow the flow of our conversations, there's not exactly a flow chart to our thoughts and we sure don't stick to one topic for long! 
   I had said I pretty much chalked them up to a loss and will be writing an email when I'm gone, off the island, for good. Jess said she wanted the email so she could send them an email as well. Hell hath no fury like my family sending emails about being screwed over, especially when we're doing it as a collective unit. 


   Imagine my surprise when I opened my email this morning and found this:
Good morning Mrs. Wilcox-Ball,
I hope you have had a wonderful weekend and I hope I can brighten it a little more with what I am hoping is some pictures of your baby. ;-) Going by the information you gave me, I starting asking a few others that were there about their pictures and it was actually my senior J W that was Santa that day and Tyler and his girl friend had come up with their son to take pictures. I found soem photo's that my daughter had taken of Z and the boys and there is a few with little ones on their that we had taken because of the seniors being so nuturing or the photo just being so sweet we wanted to place them in the senior class vedio and year book. I went back to the e-mail you sent to double check.... I didn't want to send you pictures of someone elses baby. LOL!! But, I think I HAVE FOUND SOME!! Sorry they are not the ones AFN took but, I think they are good and I PRAY they are of your son.
Info from your e-mail:
**My son was wearing a black short-sleeved shirt, with white long-sleeves underneath. He had on dark green pants and black sneakers. His teddy bear, which was in the photos with him, is also white and about 11 inches tall.
There was someone named Tyler there, who was sitting on Santa's lap just before my son. He was one of the high school students and it seemed they were just goofing around at the end of the day.**
I do apologize if it is not and I am doing my best to still look into this. I was hoping you would have brought your baby up when we (not AFN) were doing the Easter Bunny Pictures. We printed them out on the spot and were going to do yours for free. Like I said before.... "I have 5 babies and I know how important ALL those first are and how very special and meaningful they become later in life when you are preparing for a graduation, wedding, birth of your sons son or daughter." So please beleive, "I AM CROSSING MY FINGERS AND SAYING A PRAYER!" PLEASE let me know if it is of him!?!?!?!
Have a blessed week!!
Sincerely and Respectfully,
S

I'm even going to over look all the spelling errors, because SHE FOUND NIXON'S PICTURES WITH SANTA!!!!

Who says my bitching will get me nowhere in life??!? This is proof positive that I will not stop being who I am when it comes to the important things in mine and my family's life and milestones!

I'll have to work on the photos in Photoshop before they're print ready, but the point is: I have them!! Almost 5 months later, but I have them!!