It's almost the end of December...that means everyone fight about which holiday "owns" the month, right?!?

   It's that time of year again. The time of year it's hard to be a decent person without offending someone by simply imparting a genuine well-meaning wish of merriment to them.
    That's right boys and girls, it's the end of December, otherwise known as "Wish-me-Merry-Christmas-or-else-you-just-told-me-to-go-fuck-a-two-headed-goat" season.

   It's complicated for me. I'm not Christian, Mac's not Christian and Nixon doesn't even know what a church is. I'm trying to impart some basic pagan ideals on Nixon, but not so much that it's influencing who he is. I'm also trying to include other religions when we talk about the holidays of the season.

    It started with our tree. I can't ever have a "real" tree in my house. Why? Because it's a tarted up corpse of a tree. The minute it's cut, it's already dying. I can't, in good conscience, pay for a tree corpse to put up in my living room and water to keep the illusion of a live tree going.
   Nixon went with me to get all our winter decorations from our storage unit, including our black christmas tree! I bought it last year and I love it! It's fake as can be, it's pre-lit and I wouldn't have it any other way.  I mean I know my tree is fake, I'm not pretending it's not, so why not embrace it and go really fake?!?!
   Nixon asked why our tree is in a box.
   me: Nixon, when you cut down a tree is it alive or dead?
   Nixon: It's dead!
   me: Would you want a dead tree in the living room, with ornaments and lights on it?
   Nixon: No, trees should be in the ground.
   me: That's why our tree is in a box. Because it's fake and I don't feel bad about decorating it. If we had a real tree in the house, it wouldn't be alive and it'd be thrown out after the New Year. Once a tree is cut, it can't be replanted. It's very sad to me.
   Nixon: I like our box tree!


   I've also started telling him a little bit about the Pagan beliefs of Yule. Yule is the celebration of the return of the sun after the longest night of the year (Winter Solstice). The tree is symbolic of life, and lights help brighten the dark winter nights. There's more, but I'm keeping it simple since this is the first year I've really started explaining it to Nixon.
   I told him most importantly, this time of year is to be grateful for our friends and family. We should appreciate what we have in our lives and be generous and kind to others less fortunate than ourselves. He took that last part to heart when he and Mac went shopping for my christmas gift. We have talked about Toys for Tots more than once with Nixon, so he understands the toys are for kids who might otherwise not have gifts under their trees. As he and Mac were checking out, the cashier asked if they'd like to donate to Toys for Tots. Nixon quickly said "YES!" and even chose the toy that would be donated and put it in the box! When they came to meet me, Nixon was bursting with the news of helping a little boy/girl get a gift for christmas! My heart swelled with pride that he was so happy with his donation!
   I worry sometimes, that he doesn't appreciate what he has. He always wants another toy, even if he just got something 10 minutes ago. It seems like he's always taking and not giving, but his generosity at the store and for Toys for Tots proved to me that he does understand on some level at least that it's not always about him, and he does think of others.

  We do most of our talks in the car these days. It's when I have his undivided attention, unless it's snowing outside, and it's when we talk about almost everything in a serious manner.
   He asked why some houses were lit-up and some weren't. I told him not everyone put lights outside and then I added, not everyone celebrates the same way. Some people celebrate other holidays and that's okay.

   It's hard keeping it on a 5-year-old level without missing the meaning entirely. Nixon's been really great this year and has been asking a lot of questions. He also helped me decorate the tree! And picked where we'd hang our stockings this year.

.....And he sat with Santa, of course!

Happy (early) Halloween!

Happy Halloween, from my little brony family!
(I'm Princess Twilight Sparkle, Nixon is Pinkie Pie and Mac is Big Macintosh)

How do I bring Santa's magic alive if I didn't have his magic as a child? *not a pity-me post*

   This year is the first time Nixon has really, really been into Santa. He gets it! And he is in awe of all things Santa and the magic aspect of Santa.
   
   I've been torn on how to keep the magic alive. I never believed in Santa as a child. My parents were very religious and my dad wanted Christmas to be about the religion aspect, not Santa. Santa stole Jesus' thunder, as far as my dad was concerned. I never really heard about Santa because I went to a parochial school with other good Christian kids. I don't recall hearing about Santa until my cousin was old enough to believe in Santa, and by that time I was old enough that I wouldn't have believed in Santa at all anyways. My parents really dodged a bullet there!

   This year, Nixon saw Santa and asked for his gift. He says, every time his C3PO moves to a new place in the house, "Mommy it's magic!" and I love him just a little more.

   My dilemma is, Nixon says he asked Santa for gifts for Mac and I. But he won't tell me what he asked for us. I tried telling him "Santa only brings gifts to children. Mommy and Daddy are grownups and off Santa's list now." Nixon said he cleared our gifts with Santa, because we're a small family. How can I argue with that? I really want him to see the magic of Santa, but I'm worried if we don't get the gifts he asked for for us, he'll be heartbroken. Mac seems to think he'll forget as soon as he sees his gift from Santa, and that I'm worrying over nothing. I'm thinking maybe just this one year, we let Santa bring us gifts.

   And while we're talking about Santa, parents stop letting the fat man take all the credit for EVERY gift! Nixon gets one, yes only one, gift from Santa! Not a whole pile under the tree! Can we all get on the same page, cause it confuses the kids and gives me a serious case of "Mommy Wars" when I'm think of facing this future conversation with Nixon. "But MOM....xxx says Santa brings him a whole bunch of gifts! I only get one, and I'm way better than he is." Seriously, xxx's mom, bring it down a bunch of notches.

   That's about it.

Blessed Yule, y'all! (Winter Solstice or first day of Winter for those not familiar with Pagan celebrations.)

Conversations with Nixon *Holiday Edition*

This is not an original post. I stole these from statuses I've posted on facebook. Nixon cracks me up on a daily basis and some are too good NOT to share. 

Perhaps the cutest of all was Nixon telling me today he asked Santa for gifts for Mac and I. I told him Santa only brought gifts for little boys and girls and Nixon says to me, "But mommy, we only have 3 people in the house. Santa said it was okay." I could not love him more if I tried. I just wish I knew what he asked Santa for, for Mac and I. I want him to believe in Santa's magic and if that means buying gifts for Mac and I from Santa, then dammit  it's happening!

(today)
Nixon: Mommy is the Christmas ready?
me: nope, not a few more days
Nixon: *an hour later* Is it ready now?
me: No Nixon, I showed you on the calendar Christmas is still a few days away.
Nixon: mommy, Christmas IS ready now! I see it! *I had put the gifts from my grandmother under the tree. This is why he says he sees Christmas*
me: Well, I say it's not and I know more than you do. 
Nixon: Mommy, you go in time out until you behave and be nice to me!
me: I don't see that happening either.
Nixon: Crap on a stick!

(Monday)
Nixon, playing with one of my headbands, says to me "Mommy, you can't see my eyes "

Nixon, while watching football highlights, all of a sudden says: "the Jets are garbage!"
Mac and I have no idea where he got this from, but I guess he's not a Jets fan, eh?

(Monday)
Anyone want my kid?? He's feeling better and acting an ass again. 
On second thought....I'm gonna keep him. Ass or not, he's the only kid I've got. 
I love you, Nixon. But if you want to see dinner tonight, bring the ass'ness down a notch or 5, okay??
Thanks,
Mommy

(Dec 15th)
Well, the neighborhood now knows Nixon's name.
Took the trash out, the ONE time I don't grab my keys, he locks me out! I bang on the door and tell him to open the door. Once. Second time I use my "angry mom voice" and demand he opens the door "NIXON OPEN THIS DOOR NOW!". I hear my voice echo around the neighborhood and 4 people open their doors. 
Nixon did too. 
Not cool, kid. Not cool.

(Dec 14th/15th)
*this was in the midst of Nixon fighting the flu and immediately following the Conn elementary school shooting.*
Nixon woke up at 130am after an accident. I brought him into bed with me (because I needed him to be with me and because he wanted to be near me). He saw me with tears in my eyes
Nixon: Mommy where's your smile?
me: My smile is hiding. Mommy's sad for some families today.
Nixon: oh
me: Nixon, do you know how much I love you?
Nixon: A lot?
me: So much more than a lot. Do you know you are the best thing to ever happen to my life?
Nixon: Yeah *smiles*
me: Nixon, if you were ever taken from me, I don't know how I'd survive. Without you my life would be empty. Do you know what empty means?
Nixon: No more m&ms?
me: haha Yes Nixon empty means there are no more m&ms.
Nixon: That's not right! You can go buy me more m&ms.
me: I could, but I can never buy another you. You are mine and there's only one of you.
Nixon: Shhhhh, mommy, it's time to close you eyes. I want snuggles.
I listened to him. I stopped talking and hugged him

(Dec 14)
In other news: Nixon informed me today, that BeBe is in fact a girl. Not a boy as we've previously referred to her as. Not sure when the change occurred, but we all love BeBe just the way she is

(Dec 11)
*I call Nixon "baby" a lot. He decided I needed a lesson on why he's not a baby anymore*
Nixon just told me "that means math. Math means I'm not a baby".
I'm thinking this is his way of telling me 4 isn't a baby anymore. I got this lecture after I called him "baby". 
Now I need a Nixonese to English logic translator.

(Dec 5)
*While I was at F's helping her with T again*
Nixon (to me this morning): I not going anywhere unless I am going to school!
me: Nixon you can't go to school yet because we have to find one for you. 
Nixon: I know! I go to T's school with her. 
me: Nixon, you can't go to T's school.
Nixon: Then I not going anywhere, forever or ever or ever!
Seriously?!?!

He may be an ass....but that ass is my kid!

  

this is the squeaker toy face

Three was a hard age. I think most parents agree that of the first few years, three is one of the hardest. The tantrums alone make you want to drink (or drug your child....some days it's a real struggle to decide which of those options is the winning one). Then there's the talking back, the never-ending "NO!" coming out of your child's mouth and the absolute power struggle over everything! I love Nixon to death, but I almost loved him to death! He drove me batty more than once (a day) and there were days that I seriously questioned myself as a mom. Surely, if I was doing the very best I could as a mom, he wouldn't be acting like such an ass! Yes, there I said it. My kid was a total ass sometimes! I still loved him, but gods alive he can be a real ass!
   However, I remind myself of a couple things: 
1) this is a mostly normal phase in every child's life, and 
2) I'll never have to go through it again. So all I have to do is survive this phase, once, with Nixon and it'll all be behind us. 

   But for a while it seemed it was never going to end. The tantrums in public were still a common occurrence no matter how many times I left a store with him throwing a tantrum. The talking back was mind-numbingly constant. And he'd talk back about everything! 
me: Nixon, what do you want for lunch?
Nixon: NOTHING! I am never going to eat...forever! 
me: Okay.
Nixon: I said I want peanut butter and jelly for lunch!
^^ true story!
   Yesterday, that all changed. I'm seriously concerned that an alien abducted my child and replaced him with a marvelous, well-behaved clone. (thank you, aliens!) 

   Nixon and I had a mommy and me date, of sorts. Mac is working nights, so I do my best to get Nixon out of the house and give Mac a couple peaceful hours of sleep. Santa was the perfect excuse to get Nixon out of the house yesterday. He hasn't seen Santa this year and it's the first year Nixon is super excited about Santa.

   We left early to beat any possible crowds.

   We arrived and found 3 families ahead of us, all with much younger kids. Nixon was not enjoying the squeaker toy the photographer was using to get the little ones attention. In fact, he hated it. (He's still sensitive to some sounds.)

    Finally, it was Nixon's turn with Santa! My goodness, Nixon just lit up and stared at Santa. He was in total awe of the man! He quickly sat on his lap and took a few photos. The photographer commented on how Nixon's smile was "too squinty". Not wanting to ruin the moment, I ignored the comment, but the bitch in me wanted to say "He's got Asian blood in him, he can't help but be squinty!" I totally said it in my mind!
   After Santa we grabbed a cookie. Mall cookies are the best, right?!?! Nixon sat quietly and ate his cookie. I think he was Santa-awed, but whatever it was I'll take it. I wasn't losing my mind and he wasn't acting an ass.     The best part of the day happened while we were in Target. I was picking up some more stocking stuffers and getting things for the cats (Arwen hates me, I bought a Santa hat with beard attached for cats and made her wear it!) 
   Nixon was on point with his "excuse me" when we were walking down a crowded area and his "please" and "thank you". I got 2 compliments on his manners. One was from an older woman who heard Nixon say "excuse me" as we walked by her. "Mom, you should be proud. I don't hear grown adults using excuse me like your son just did." The second was the cashier who said to Nixon "You have some wonderful manners, young man."! (Nixon said "please" and "may I have" when he asked for the trucks I'd bought for him)

    I could not have loved my son more at that point, if I tried! I was so proud of him AND it made me realize I'm doing a good job as his mom. 

    Am I a perfect mom? Hell no! I cuss too much, use too much sarcasm around him and I don't always keep my cool when he's acting an ass. But I'm doing somethings right because my little man uses manners and I'm not even having to prompt him to do it these days. 

    Am I a perfect mom? NO. But don't tell Nixon that. He think I'm the best mom ever. And I get hugs, kisses and "I love you, mom" all day long! Even if I'm not the most perfect mom, I'm the best mom he has and he's not screwed up yet. 

   So, yes, my kid can be an ass. But you know what? I think it's normal to be slightly ass-tastic when you're being raised by a less than perfect mom. But together, we make a pretty awesome team!

"too squinty"?? Too cute, if you ask me!

Arwen, in her Santa hat and beard.

It's time for a little Holiday..... weird???

Meet, our christmas tree! It's small, less than 2.5 feet tall. It's white, plastic and pre-lit. It's pretty damned cute little thing, ain't it??? The snowflakes are also plastic and fake. It didn't take much convincing to get Mac to agree to having a tree this year. I found one I liked in a sales ad, I mentioned to him, he said "It's your money" and I took my money and bought the tree. Then I bought the ornaments, snowflakes and let Nixon choose the bird as the tree topper. He choose the teal peacock instead of the green peacock, a lovely choice!


Being on Okinawa means a lot of fake trees to be had and very few real ones. Which, is actually okay with me, because it turns out. I have issues with real christmas trees. Who saw that one coming?!?!? Not me, until I really thought about it. Well, not really thought about it, I grazed on the thought and come up without enough material for this blog. 


See, to me, cutting down a tree is killing it. Because, well, you are ACTUALLY killing it! You can't replant it after the holidays and have it reroot to use again next year. You could cut it and use it as kindling, if you have a fireplace, but the fact remains, a living thing was killed for your viewing pleasure. Either way you look at it (arborcide or arborcualst), a bunch of trees are killed  in about a month's time period, just to fill up peoples house with green beauty.


It's like going to a pet store (or pound), picking out a puppy/kitten/turtle/hamster and then putting a bullet between the chosen pet's eyes shortly after you get it home! Nope, I'm wrong, you'd have to pay for it, and then blow it's fluffy little brains out before leaving the store. Okay, so it's a slightly extreme comparison, but its essentially the same thing, in my eyes. But actually, you'd have to get a fully grown pet, because these ain't no baby trees being chopped down. These be teenagers in some cases. Teenagers?? Well, okay some of the punk bastard trees really had it coming, it was the only way to send a message and scare the others straight! 


Now before people start hating me (all 15 followers I have!!), I get why people have live trees. I don't pour blue paint on them, when I see a live tree in a house, and yell "Fir is Murder!" (although that'd be hilarious!!). I'm very live and let live on the whole thing, it's the holidays you do you're thing I'll do mine. Mine consists of a plastic tree, pre-lit preferably, and yours might involve going to a tree farm a choosing a tree to kill before carting the carcass home and hoisting it up in your living room. Who cares, we both tart the trees up the same class-ass way (lights, ornaments and other prettiness), right?!?! 


So happy fucking holidays!! Enjoy them with your loved ones. Be good, Santa's watching you (does he watch you in the shower too...aren't there laws against that. Fucking old fat Perv!!). 


Speaking of Santa, here's Nixon with the ole fatass!