Saturday, January 21, 2012

Parenting and preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse

   Mac and I have spent the last few nights he's had off curled up watching the Resident Evil movies. Now, he swears these movies are not about zombies, but I say "who cares" they're important learning tools on How-To prepare for an outbreak. Even more importantly, I'm taking it to the next level and using it to be a better mother! 

Rea's How-To prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse and be a Good Mom Guide
(because most people think you trip the kids or use them as zombie bait....)

First, the survival pack. You want it light enough to travel easily but have enough food and supplies to last. Think energy bars and protein shakes. If you think far enough ahead, keep a "quick grab bag" in the house and one in the car. Always keep a case of bottled water in the car, this is just common sense.

Next, escape plan. My plan is to always live near the water. My entire survival plan revolves around grabbing Nixon, heading to the harbor and stealing a boat. Yes, I will be STEALING a boat. I figure at least 5 of the owners will be in denial about the outbreak and won't think of getting to the harbor, so I'll "take" one of those boats. (Now, I do realize the last time I in a boat it did end up sinking but it wasn't all my fault.....and I swear, I'll take boating lessons first!) Nixon and I will be out on the water for 3-4 weeks while the outbreak is going on. Maybe we'll help stranded survivors, maybe we won't. I'm going to say no, because I still won't trust just anyone around Nixon. The end of the world isn't going to change that! Let's be real, I'm still going to be super paranoid and overprotective. I'm momma bear on a normal day, add zombies and people possibly trying to kill us for whatever we have and I'll be UBER-Momma Bear, all killing without those pesky laws holding me back!

Protection, protection, protection....My survival pack includes some weapons and ammo. (and thanks to Resident Evil 4 my ammo will also include lots of loose change! Seriously, it's a great option and, in the movie at least, did a LOT of damage!) I have to find something for Nixon to do too. Probably a big metal baseball bat for him to swing, and not accidentally kill me with in the process. I'd say a taser but not sure that would work on zombies, an ax is a bad idea because of the sharp edge but a bat seems a safe but zombie-deadly weapon!

Finally, mothering during the apocalypse. It's a fine line. Obviously, you can't punish him for killing a zombie because, that's kind of the point of the whole "game".  But bedtime will still be the same time, he will still have to listen to me  ("I said duck!!") and if Mac happens to make it with us (oh yeah, did I mention we've got individual survival plans mostly because he'll probably be at work) then Nixon needs to listen to us both. 
And NO peeing on dead zombies! That's just rude!! 
Make time to ask how Nixon is feeling. The zombie apocalypse will be a scary time for anyone but kids might be especially weirded out. Asking him how he feels and talking about what's going on will keep the lines of communication open and help build a stronger team, which in the long run will be the best for our overall survival odds.    

My entire goal is to get as far from the outbreak as possible, avoid the government "safety" zones, protect Nixon and keep it fun! 

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