Frolicking in the snow

   Nixon had a snow day today. Yesterday saw over 4 inches of snow fall in our area, and due to falling temps overnight the roads got icy fast which led to schools being cancelled for the safety of the children. I had a feeling they'd be cancelled and kind of prepared Nixon for that last night. I woke up at 6am, checked the school's county facebook page to see what the decision was, and went back to bed when I saw school was cancelled today.
   Nixon came into our bed sometime around 730am and went to sleep with us for a bit. In the end, we stayed in bed until very late in the morning, and it was glorious!

   After breakfast and coffee, the three of us bundled up and headed outside to shovel the sidewalk/parking spots and clean off the cars. Nixon just played in the snow most of the time.
   He did have one winter kid experience that every kid I know has had: he ate an icicle he pulled off my car! Mac thought it was gross (which it is) but I just laughed and told Nixon that I did the same thing as a kid. It happens, but not to do it again.

   When the cars were cleaned off, the sidewalk shoveled and the parking spots cleared I showed Nixon how to make snow angels in the backyard! Yep, I got down in the snow and made one with him. And it was awesome! We rolled around in the snow together, chased each other and threw snow at each other just completely enjoying the snow and our time out in it!
    Having him and watching him playing in the snow brought back memories of my own childhood winters in the snow. I'm glad he's making some snow-memories of his own and I hope he'll remember me being there with him.

...the day your child says he doesn't want to make friends because his heart hurts, is the day you dig deep and fight like hell to show him how much he has to offer friends he hasn't met yet.

    It's been a long time since a conversation with Nixon has had me in tears, but tonight that's exactly what happened.

    Nixon has been struggling. He's been having random mood swings since his cousin left after a visit last month. Anytime Mac or I would ask what's wrong, Nixon would say "I miss J" and start to cry, even if his outburst had nothing to do with J it was always his go-to response.

   Tonight I finally stopped and listened to him. I heard what he was saying and let him say it. And it was heartbreaking.
   In the past two days, Nixon's also mentioned his other cousin who moved to California earlier this year. He had spent a large amount of time with her as we had been living with her while her mom was out-of-town for military training over a span of two and a-half months.

   After an epic meltdown over cleaning up his toys downstairs, Nixon and I went up to his room and we talked. Well, he cried and I held him. Then we talked. He told me he never wanted to make friends. I asked him why and he said "J left and he broke my heart. I miss him.", and my heart broke hearing his 4-year old logic. How do you argue with that?
    I didn't argue. It's true. Friends leaving hurts. I know that firsthand.
   I told him the truth: Missing someone is part of a greater thing. It means you've got love in your heart for the person you miss and that is amazing! I want you to make as many friends as you want, lots of friends or just a few very special friends like mommy has, but you have to have friends in your life. I want people to see the kind, loving, silly, amazing and wonderful boy I see every day and I want them to want to be in your life. But you have to let them in your heart. It's a risk, but it's worth the risk. Sometimes, your heart will hurt, it's part of life but the best part of life is the strength you get by bouncing back from pains in your heart. Right now, you have good memories of your time with J, hold onto those every time you miss him and you'll feel the love and smile in your heart and the pain of missing him won't be so bad. Making friends here, when you start school, will be better because they'll live here and not far away like J so they won't have to leave and you'll see them at school.
   I closed it with: Please, please take the chance and make friends. You're so little and have so much life in front of you to say you won't make friends. Don't let fear stop you from being the brave and wonderful little boy I know you are.

   We sat on the floor of his bedroom, he on my lap head lying on my chest, looking at the photo of him and J together. Nixon crying and myself on the verge of tears. Nixon got up and said he needed a tissue, he grabbed the toilet paper roll from the bathroom and brought it to me in his bedroom. I helped him blow his nose and he got into bed.

   I came downstairs and told Mac about the conversation. He says "Is he 4 going on 16? He's growing up way too fast!"
   Tell me about it, babe, tell me about it.

   Tonight was by far the worst night about being so far from family.

The clock is ticking......

The official orders came in last week. Mac's next (and final) duty station is Annapolis, Maryland!! We've known for a while, but without the official orders anything can happen. Now it's almost a done deal.

By almost, I of course mean, not anywhere near done deal. Before we leave Okinawa behind and return to the states we have a lot to do. There's shit to get rid of (clothes, baby items, toys, books and other general items of nonsense that we have but will not be taking with us), there's the cats shots to get updated, items to document before packing (expensive things that we'll need to itemize on our pack out sheet) and because I'm incredibly anal about certain things, a lot of photos and personal items to pack MY way!

That doesn't even look like fun, does it? It's not. Let's face it: moving anywhere sucks ass! Moving across the world sucks sweaty bamboo ass!

I refuse to let my final few months here in Okinawa be totally consumed by leaving this island. There's so much to still be done. There's the cherry blossoms coming into bloom, which I fully intend to take advantage of and get some amazing photos in the process! Next month? Sunflower fields! There's a Dam nearby I haven't visited but it's on my list, along with seaglass hunting, visiting a couple more castle ruins, a bird sanctuary I've driven past and said "I'm going to go there some day" because I'm running out of some days and I'm going to ride the Ferris Wheel in American Village before I leave Okinawa, just once!

Before moving here.....

I'm going to say good-bye to Okinawa from Here (the ferris wheel)