Birth is just the beginning....

  For women, when giving birth in most cases, we lose all sense of modesty. I know when Nixon was in the process of making his debut, I found myself on all fours ass in the air with a room full of interns, nurses and a doctor who was elbow deep in my cervix for all to see for the safety of my child. And I could have given a flying frick! My sole concern was that Nixon was safe.

  That was just the beginning to life as a mom with privacy issues. I can't shower with Nixon awake and not have him come check in on me, asking if I'm "getting all pruney and making all the germs go away". I can't take longer than 5 seconds in the bathroom with a knock on the door and hearing him call out "Mommy, are you in there?". I've gotten used to it, because lets face it, if he's checking on me, he's not getting into trouble somewhere else in the house.

   But it's not just Nixon. The cats get in on the action too!

   And, as of yesterday, BeBe (Nixon's beloved teddy bear) as well. BeBe, apparently, can only "poo-poo" when I do. So Nixon will bring him into the bathroom and put him on the sink countertop  next to me.
   Today it played out like this:
*knock, knock*
Nixon: Mommy, are you in there?
me: Yes, Nixon, I'm in here, I just told you I was going to the bathroom.
Nixon: Oh. BeBe has to go poo-poo and he needs to be near you.
me: Nixon, you can't be serious. BeBe does not need to be near me to poo-poo.
Nixon: *opens the door* Uh-huh, mommy! He really does! (puts BeBe on the counter next to me) See? Now, leave him alone while he poo-poos.
me: *to BeBe* You know I'm going to blog about this ridiculous invasion of my privacy, right?
The worse part?!?! Before Nixon would take BeBe out of the bathroom, he had to see me wipe BeBe's butt! I had to wipe a stuffed bear's ass!!

Meanwhile, Mac can grab his Kindle or a magazine and go to the bathroom without being disturbed. He seems to think I can just tell Nixon to leave me alone while I'm in there and it'll magically happen. Moms, anyone wanna help me enlighten him on why this will NEVER happen??

Happy December :)

It finally happened....we lost one

It's been 10 days since it happened and it's been 6 days since Nixon asked for him last. All the preparations in the world wouldn't have helped ease the pain of my baby boy's first broken heart.

We lost a Bebe. Not just any Bebe. We lost THE BeBe. The first BeBe, small BeBe in Nixonese.

We lost him on my birthday, of all days.

We went to breakfast, at a crowded diner. He left with us.
We went to Big Lots, he was in the cart with Nixon, at first. We got home, unloaded the car and...no BeBe.
Mac called the diner, just double checking, and they hadn't found him there.
I called Big Lots, no one turned him in or seen him.
Small BeBe was indeed, gone.
Cue inconsolable child now!

Two days and nights of Nixon asking for small BeBe, throwing his other two IDENTICAL bebes, telling us they were stupid. He even insisted on looking in the car, himself, because I must've missed him somehow. Not his exact words, but it was pretty much the gist. Then he decided small BeBe must be in the washer and I had to get him out! It was painful to watch him try so hard to find a bear that had just vanished.

Finally, he accepted BeBe 2 (bigger BeBe in Nixonese) as the main BeBe. But he started chewing his tail, like small Be's tail was, from when Nixon was teething. And Nixon now calls him his "teddy bear" and not "BeBe" as much. Mac noticed it first and asked me about it. My only explanation is Nixon knows it's not BeBe and is acknowledging such with the title change. He's still attached to it, but it's a more love/hate relationship. Nixon's much more tough on "My Teddy Bear". Lots of throwing him, tossing him at the ceiling and into fans, at the cats (once), bombing Mac and I with him. He cries when he's taken away from these behaviors, but doesn't stop doing them. He hasn't gone to bed with him in 3 nights, and he does cry about it, but as long as he sees him in the morning he's okay with it.

Hmmm.....now if only we could lose those pesky fingers in his mouth!

Rock, Paper, Scissors according to Nixon **UPDATE**

   I'm nothing if not a well-prepared mother. My sole goal as a parent is to be ahead of the curve in awkward conversations (the sex talk), teaching Nixon the finer points of sarcasm (I'm sure he's getting it down. The other day his reply to something I'd said was "Uh, helllooooo?" complete with hands on hips and snotty teenage face.) and finally helping guide Nixon to a successful grasp of such potentially life-altering games as "rock/paper/scissor" (which has been my latest game of choice for us). Now, I can say he's not 100% sure of the rules of the game, or how to play, but kid's got the hand signals and names down pat! 


This morning, Nixon came into our bed a little after 9am. (WHY does he always pull this sleeping in late stuff when Mac is home with us? Why can't he ever give me a free pass and sleep in when it's just me and him for the day?!?!? Why am I asking *you*, I should be asking him, but since he can't read and usually every answer for any question I ask him is "no" or "What da hewl (hell in Nixonese), mommy?" I'm better off letting it go. Nixon brought BeBe, his much loved and lately abused teddy bear, and was very loving. Gave us hugs and kisses, asked me to snuggle with him (Well DUH! Of course I let him!) and was only a little goofy. 


He started doing Rock/Paper/Scissors with us, then said BeBe wanted to play. This is how it played out (more or less, I hadn't had coffee yet, so it might be a bit fuzzy)
me: Honey, BeBe can't play R/P/S
Nixon: yes he can. 
me: Okay Bebe....rock ( I make my fist)
Nixon: (holding BeBe's arm is straight out) See rock.
me: Paper (as I lay my hand flat out. I should mention BeBe has no fingers. He's a bear with only round paws on a slightly bent arm)
Nixon: Paper (pushed BeBe arm down "flat" in front of him)
Mac: How's he gonna do scissors?
me: I'm not sure, it's not like he's got fingers. 
Mac: Okay buddy, scissors (and thrown up two fingers)
Nixon: (takes BeBe and moves his arm so it is above him, kind of next to his head) Skissors for BeBe!
Mac and I: amazement and laughter at the same time. 
Nixon did all BeBe's positions again and called each one the same thing as before. 
Me: Did our kid just play R/P/S with his teddy bear who has no fingers or real hands?
Mac: Looks that way.
Me: Nixon, you're kind of really awesome. You know that right?
Nixon: (notices Mac and I are hugging at this point) NO HUGGIN' guys! 
* he comes over to break us up, but instead we have a full family hug with Nixon in the middle!


Mac wanted to teach Nixon "lizard and spock", but Nixon told Mac "No Lizard". That ended that real fast! 


**UPDATE** I can't believe I forgot this!! Nixon invented his own symbol/hand gesture for the game. He throws his hand out flat, like paper, but then arches his fingers upwards and says "Airplane!" How awesome is that?!?! I'm pretty sure airplane beats paper, scissors and possibly rock (if its a small rock) haha
Yeah, my kid is kind of way cool like that!


In other news...can anyone tell me why my cat was taking up more of the bed than I was and my husband was throwing elbows and knees in his sleep on me, like I was a practice dummy?? Arwen has slept in my bed for as long as I've had her. Lately she sleeps the long way from the edge of my side of the bed (so where as Mac and I sleep vertically on the mattress, Arwen sleeps horizontally on it, usually right by my head and torso area) , slowly stretching out longer and longer until I end up on Mac's side of the bed. Since he's on nights it's not a big deal...when he's not home. But on nights that he is home I get squeezed between my 10-pound but seemingly 4 foot long(!!) cat and my 6-foot husband, like last night when my cat had more bed than I did. 
And yes I know common sense would say "kick the cat out", however common sense has never met my cat. I kick her out, she comes back. I push her off the bed, she comes back then she cries and mews IN MY FACE until I roll away from her and she steals her spot back on the bed. We can't lock her out of the bedroom, because she'd just terrorize poor Amber out of spite, plus her food/water and litter box are there. The food and water is to keep Amber, aka FATTY, from eating both food dishes of food while Arwen gets none. 



This morning with the 5 of us on the same bed, I told Mac we needed a bigger bed. He quickly said "Good luck with that", followed by "or we could just stop letting everyone in our bed"....
I stand by my claim: we need a bigger bed! LOL