Thursday, September 27, 2012

Oh, you know, he's socially awkward...he gets it from me.

Dear mom at the park today,
   Hi. I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself today. I must've missed the "yoga pants and workout tee" memo that you sent out. My jeans and comfy tee & hoodie combo looked rather out of place. My son's sneakers were also displaced in the sea of crocs.
  But my intent is not to discuss the "dress code" of the park, but rather my son's behavior towards your child. I know, my son's big for his age, he looks much older than he is. But don't hold that against him, he's still an awesome kid. Just a little socially awkward, he comes by it naturally, as I'm incredibly socially awkward.
  I know my son was trying to play with your child. He must've seemed a little overzealous, when he ran up to your child said "hi" than ran away and said " come chase me". And to your child's credit, they gave chase. Then your child climbed up a ladder and my child was trying to ask him to come back down and chase again. The "yes" and "no" exchange happened, I'm not sure you noticed, you were talking to a few other memo-clad moms. You did notice when your child said my child was "mean". That hurt, because he wasn't being mean, he wanted to play just coming off a little odd. Well, they did try to play again and I'm guessing you aren't a high-five-type family because when my awesome son tried to give your child a high-five your child tried to punch him in the face. I got up and pulled my son aside, telling him to keep his hands to himself, even if he was just trying to be nice and make a new friend. You...well, you were on your phone doing something that looked a lot like not parenting. Angry birds? Yeah, I'm kind of an addict too, maybe we'll see each other at the next ABA meeting??
  You did tell you child a couple time to keeps "hands to yourself" and Nixon went on to play with his ball and talk to another child. This is where I kind of get pissed, though I'm too awkward to say anything. See, or rather you didn't what with your phone in hand...those pigs get you every time, right???, my son was talking nicely to another small child at the slide. Your child came over and said "He's (Nixon, is who your child is talking about) mean! He's a mean boy" and the mother of the other child came and removed her child from Nixon. Nixon did nothing wrong at this point!! But you didn't see that, or you pretended not to notice.
   Nixon went over and complimented another child on the shirt they were wearing (Angry Birds, for the record), and your child, on the swing next to this interaction, tried kicking Nixon as they were swinging on their bellies. Nixon tried to grab your child's foot, resulting in his 3rd warning about keeping his hands to himself and our departing the park. Even though he was (a) trying to play and (b) reacting to another child's action, we were leaving.
   I can not thank you and your memo pals enough for not verbally saying anything as I carried my screaming child plus a travel coffee mug, water bottle and latex ball away. However, I do know that air of silence that falls when bitches are about to start squawking! So squawk away. Roll your eyes that my child got taken home, literally kicking and screaming, thinking your child would NEVER behave like that.

   For the record, I will be back at this park. It's so close to my house I  can't not go often. I can promise you, there will be days I might *look* like I fit in and got them memo about the "dress code", I assure you it's purely accidental. I wear workout clothes to work out. Also, yes my child may come off as pushy, but I assure you, your child came off as a whiny, tattletale who was ruining Nixon's chance of making a better-fitted friend.

the frazzled mom in jeans and hoodie, drinking her coffee and playing ball with her kid before all this shit went down. (aka, that one who didn't fit in)

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