Monday, January 21, 2013

The saddest day as a mom so far

   Every mom knows there comes a day their child will say something just to hurt them. I never expected to hear it come out of my precious 4-year old's mouth, but I knew I wouldn't be the only mom on earth to not hear it.

   Tonight, after Nixon's shower and after he was told it was bedtime, Nixon turned to me and said "I don't like you, Mommy." Simple as that, not hate-fueled, just very matter-of-factually in the same sweet tone he uses to say "i love you". I was shocked, I was hurt, I was heart-broken. What I was not, was angry. Anger wasn't going to get me anywhere in this situation.
   We stayed in my bed for a minute longer, while Nixon continued to profess his "bossy" ways. I told him, very quietly and calmly, that his words hurt my heart a lot and they made me very sad. I didn't force an apology out of him, I didn't yell or do anything really. I was just very hurt, and shocked, that he said that to me over something he knew was coming! I make sure I give him advance warning on bedtime.

  He brushes his teeth, gets onto his bed and sits there.
He says to me, very quietly while he's fidgeting with his BeBe, "Mommy, I sorry I was bossy."
I say to him "Nixon, I'm used to you being bossy. That's part of you being 4, being a little boy. What made me sad, made my heart sad was when you said you don't like me."
Nixon said "I was only being bossy."
I replied, "Nixon, that wasn't bossy baby. That was very mean."
I gave him a kiss on the forehead and started tucking him into bed. Nixon puts his hand on my cheek and says "Mommy, I'm sorry I hurt your heart. I love you. Your my best friend."
I tell him "Thank you for apologizing baby. I love you too! You are my favorite baby boy!"

  I know he's going to say things to hurt me as he gets older. I said far worst things to my parents, but to be fair my parents were far worst parents than Mac and I are to Nixon, while I was growing up. I hope this is as bad as it gets.

broke my heart and made it better, just by using that little mouth of his. 

2 comments:

  1. Aww! He said you are his best friend! That is really sweet. I can only imagine how wonderful it must have felt.

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  2. My 4 year old nephew went through a phase ( which seems to have just ended recently) of telling my father that he didn't like him and he didn't love him. My nephew spends a lot of time with my parents and me as well as his mom, and has done so his whole life. About 3 or 4 months ago he started actively telling my dad that he didn't like him. At Thanksgiving when everyone was saying what they were thankful for he specifically said he was thankful for each member of the family in turn and then said ”but I'm not thankful for grandpa.” He would just spontaneously and for no particular reason say stuff like that to my father. It broke my dad's heart, especially because he wasn't saying it in anger; it seemed like that was how he genuinely felt. He seems, only in the last few weeks, to have gotten over whatever this was and everybody is much happier now.

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