Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Dear Old Guy at the bank today,

  Thank you for your parenting advice today. Clearly I needed it. It was obvious, as I was correcting my child and not letting him run around the bank willy nilly, that I was having issues with him. And when I excused myself from the line, to take my son to the bathroom (when he politely called over to me "Um, excuse me mommy, I have to go potty"), your eye rolling was unnecessary, yeah fuckface I saw that!
  When it became obvious that Nixon was not going to sit down/stand quietly next to me or stop screeching at the top of his lungs, did I not leave the bank fast enough for your old ass? I gave my son 2 chances to stop, got down to his level and spoke quietly so I know even if your Miracle Ear 5000 was turned all the way up to "Easedropping MotherFucker" level you wouldn't have heard a harsh word come out of my mouth towards my son. Because THAT is how I parent MY child! 
   So when I heard you tell another patron "You know if she'd just beat that kid's ass he'd learn how to behave right quick" the only person whose ass I wanted to beat was your old ass! It may have been acceptable when you were "raising" kids to "beat that ass", but studies have shown its not that great. Want more proof? Take a look at families these days? How many fucked up families do you know? Actually no, scratch that, how many normal families do you know?? By normal I mean: no issues, no family members cut-off from each other, no family feuds, no life long resentment issues between parents and kids for shit that happened as kids, and how many good relationships do you know between parents and kids? I gotta say, in my own family....um, hold on I'm counting.....still counting,......okay going to extended family now.......Yeah, um, I give up cause I'm not all about airing my families laundry. My own, I don't mind so much, but extended family that's another story. The point is, I'm not saying its because these people were spanked, but let's not go telling ME to "beat that ass", in regards to my child, when I've been spanked and I know it doesn't work on all kids. 
   So, while I understand, dear crotchety senior of the earth, that my 3-year old's yelling was disturbing to you, please give me my due respect as a parent for removing him from the situation rather than forcing everyone to continue to deal with him, minus the dickish comment about hitting my child to teach him to behave. I wouldn't even train an animal to do something by hitting it, why would I do the same to someone I gave birth to?? I left the bank, with my little "hellion" in tow, leaving you with the peace and quiet I'm to understand old people with one foot in the grave have come to expect the rest of the world to give them. 

A sincerest and deepest fuck you, SIR, 
a mother who is trying her best not to slap the shit out of all the people who like to give parenting advice from 10 feet away, under their breath, and to the back of my head. 

   Yes, Nixon acted out. I gave him chance to correct himself, he continued to be disruptive, we left. I parented MY way. It makes me sick when I've seen parents wail a kid's ass in public before but it's their choice and as long as it's not abusive I don't get involved. Not my kid. So why do people feel the need to comment on MY hands-off parenting?? Fucking old guy!!

   We went home, Nixon went in his bedroom for 20 minutes, Mac was awake (unrelated to Nixon's screaming shockingly enough), Mac explained to Nixon why he was in his room while I took Mac's uniform to the cleaners. He got out and we carried on our day. The only screeching he did was a little when it came naptime and the usual at bedtime. I may not know what the HELL I'm doing all the time, but I do know, I'm way past the age of caving to peer pressure. I resisted doing pot in high school so I'm figuring I can resist spanking my kid in my 30's. 

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