To paraphrase Tigger's little song in Winnie the Pooh. And why is it no one ever says it's a shame Pooh/Piglet/Tigger/Rabbit or even Eeyore are the only ones? Why is it okay for imaginary characters to be onlies, but its a travesty when it's learned Mac & I are only having one child, in real life?? I find it curious that society seems to place such a high value on 2-3 child families while degrades and questions larger or smaller families. I'm just as guilty as counting children huddled around one grown up, assuming they all "belong" to him/her, but it's not in my nature to go up to them and point out that they've got a LOT of children or that they can't possible have enough one-on-one quality time with each child. It's rude to do so, in my opinion. That's not to say I won't mention such thoughts to friends who know me or Mac, in the privacy of my own home.
Sorry, for the tangent, I was just thinking before I started writing this today, how wonderful life is with Nixon.
Last night, while checking on him like I always do, I pulled the covers over him and kissed his forehead. As I gently kissed his forehead, I whispered "I love you, my little love" something I've said to him since the day he was born. He snuggled deeper under the covers and sighed a sleepy "okay" as I got up from besides his bed.
Today was a surprisingly nice day, considering its been cold and rainy for a couple weeks now. So, during breakfast I decided I'd take Nixon to the zoo and just let him enjoy it. I had the stroller with me, but he chose to walk almost the entire time in the zoo. When I did have to put him in the stroller, he'd scream bloody murder until I presented him with a distraction (a drink or snack, were the options of choice today). He fed fish and ducks and pigeons. He walked up the steep hills, either holding my hand or the railing if available for him. He pushed the stroller, almost kamikaze-like since he has no concept of steering it. He'd pick up my hand, if I dared try to help steer/control the stroller, and tell me "I got it" and push my hand away. He giggled and smiled at passing children and families. And the entire time I was soley focused on him and only him. The day was his to enjoy and I was merely along as the co-pilot.
I took him on his first merry-go-round ride. He loved it! He was smiling, cheesing at the camera when I snapped pictures of us and just really into the whole experience of it. When the ride was over we took a very short train ride. It didn't matter to Nixon that we were only going in a very small circle. He couldn't have cared less that we were the only ones on the train. The only thing he knew, was that I was on the train with him and we were moving!
Occasionally, though very rarely, I wonder what life would be like with more than Nixon. It usually strikes me as a fleeting thought when a friend announces a pregnancy or welcomes a new baby into his/her family. It's never a serious thought, just a passing "what-if" moment. The picture never quite seems right. Its all blurry and out of focus somehow. Its chaotic even in its theory of existence in my head. I feel panicked and stressed just imagining another child in our lives. Seriously, my heart rate elevates, my head hurts and I feel jittery at the imagined 2nd child's arrival into my perfect family. I can't even see his/her face because I can't focus through the haze of anxiety.
It's moments like that, that prove to me, some people are just not meant to have more than one child. I'm THAT person. Because if I did have more, I'd never have the freedom that Nixon and I enjoyed today together. The zoo? Getting there was my idea. Visiting it and enjoying it? That was all Nixon today. A sibling would cramp our style and flow.
I'd never think less of someone who has more than one child. Every family is different. But just once I'd like to feel like other people feel the same way about my little family of 3, instead of the usually "robbing him of a sibling" crap that most people (and usually strangers at that) feel the need to spew.
My opinion?? The only people who really want you to have more kids are clothing companies, diaper companies and toy companies. They make a killing with every new child born!