Tuesday, July 26, 2011

My husband's smart...but I have a blog!! I win!

Saturday night Mac and I dropped Nixon off at my friend's house for our night of free sitter service. (We had little Miss Macy the night before.) On the way to pick up our take out order, Mac mentions (and kept him unnamed) co-worker of his who feels we're being ridiculous for having an only based on financial reasons. He told Mac "God will provide" and felt the need to say this to Mac regardless of the fact that Mac is an atheist so his argument has no weight. Now, my husband is wise enough to NOT tell me who this Bible thumping asshole is who thinks he knows better than we do, and has the audacity to basically say our reason for having Nixon alone is shit-poor and we need to pop out another one since the peeping ghost in the sky and his zombie son will prove for us.... because they're doing such an awesome job of doing it for everyone else I know right now.

Okay, so I have nothing against most religious people. Most of my family is Christian of one denomination or another, and most of them accept that I am not. A few of them pray for me, I'm sure, but at least they don't tell me I'm going to hell anymore, because lets face it...I stopped believing that threat when I survived living in my parents home for 18 plus years. Honestly, Hell has a lot to live up to after that. And ultimately, so what if I'm wrong...but what if I'm not?? What if they're the ones who are wrong?? What if we're all wrong?? Who really knows what happens when we die? We're dead. The end.


Mac and I both grew up in home watching our parents struggle financially to provide for 2 children. It's very difficult knowing, from a young age,that your parents are fighting over money. It's harder still watching all your friends going away on vacations or getting awesome birthday parties/gifts and knowing you'll be lucky to go to the county fair for a day. My parents never saved for me to go to college and when I did go, it was against my dad's wishes. He thought it was stupid and wanted me to get a full-time job instead. So I did both....then I moved out. I'm STILL in debt for college tuition. It's shit like that that weighed heavily on our choice to have only Nixon, among other reasons. 

As for the "God will provide" bullshit. There's a reason Mac won't let me find out who this shithead is. Because in the car I started my rant before he shut me down (only because he agrees with me not because he wanted me to shut up). So, in order to get it off my chest and out of my head I give you my.....Loss of Faith Rant: 
Okay, so for the sake of argument, I did once believe in God. I prayed to him and asked him to help my dad not be so angry. I asked him to help my mom protect my sister and I. I asked him to help my dad stop drinking. I asked him to put my broken family back together. 
God never made any of those things happen. 
As I got older I saw worse things and I lived through worse things. I got beat at home by my dad and I got beat by my first boyfriend. God never helped me. No one helped me. 
So for this christian....what could me, a child around the age of 9 when it started, have possibly done to have deserved this kind of treatment? NO honestly, I'd like to know what kind of justification I'd get other than "God had a plan for you" because any plan that involved regular abuse from multiple people who "loved" me kind of sucks ass. And breaking up my family, while bringing my dad's mistress into my mom's home, while she was there acting as an old friend only to leave and fuck her HUSBAND (my dad)...AWESOME plan!! I mean, really props on that one, because we totally didn't see that coming. So, umm.....can I get a reasoning for that? I mean, what did my mom do to deserve that kind of betrayal from her husband?? Yeah, I was kind of expecting that blank stare from you asshole. Thanks for the help though. So umm....shall we continue, cause I could go on.  

Even after I stopped believing, I've seen infants get cancer, children my son's age have life threatening diseases, I've seen entire villages washed out to sea....and I've seen people say they'll pray for these people. I find myself thinking "I'm going to say he's not there right now". 
I've seen people picket deceased soldiers funerals in the name of the very same God this pretentious shit tells me will provide for my family if we have another child, and I've seen other hate crimes carried out in God's name. I'm tired of there being so much hate being done in God's name! I'm tired of my life's abuses being justified as "look how strong HE made you". I asked adults for help. I spoke to my pastor about what I was going through at home....and those fucking church shits decided it was a "family situation" since my dad left the church and wouldn't come to family counseling at the church. Thanks for fucking nothing, fuckface!
Am I angry? Yeah maybe I have some leftover anger. But mostly I'm pissed that people seem to refuse to accept that there are people that just don't believe in the bible and god and all those other fables that you (a general you) live your life by, so they keep pushing and pushing it on people. 


So, if anyone knows who this fucktard is who loves to thump the bible at work and tell my husband what a shame it is we're not giving Nixon the gift of a sibling because "siblings are a gift from God"....please be so kind as to tell him "Herpes and Syphilis are gifts from God too, feel free to go get them." 


I really hate people who only speak from their asshole and think while their head is firmly stuck up their ass. Their breath always smells like shit!


Once upon a time I believed in God, then I learned about logic and science. Now I prefer pagan beliefs of nature celebrations and strong belief in Karma. I married an outspoken Atheist and we have a free-thinking child who can believe whatever he wants as long as he chooses it out of a desire to believe and not a fear of not believing. When god starts sending me cash in the mail, to provide for my family I'll reconsider my stance.....but until then I like how I live my life. (Cash only cause this bitch ain't falling for no God scam!)

3 comments:

  1. Wow that's intense! What a crummy way of starting "date" night, I'd smack him silly just for that! :D

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  2. I swear you're going to think I'm a psycho stalker. Really, I'm not. But this rant is one more thing we have in common. Just replace "abusive alcoholic father" with "abusive mentally ill mother" and that's me. And when I asked questions at church or pointed out the obvious glaring holes in the bible, I was told I was evil.

    I never really believed in the holy trinity, though I can blend in when I have to. I live in a very Xian centered place and my ILs are Catholic. I realized about 15 years ago that I was Pagan (not Wiccan) and now, when I feel the need for some kind of fellowship, I go to the local UU. DH believes in "God" of some sort. Some higher power, but he's even more irritated by the Jesus-freaks than I am. We're raising our son in the UU because of their acceptance and coverage of all world religions.

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  3. I simply love you. I have more love and respect for you than 99% of the people I know. <3

    (I deleted the other comment because I can't spell and I couldn't figure out how to edit it, LOL)

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