Saturday, July 16, 2011

Irony: I write about PMM and then Nixon gets compared to a pet and I cancel my magazine subscription


As a mother of an only child, I turn my cheek to a lot of ignorant and occasionally well meaning comments, about siblings. The link above is fully ignorant and not at all helpful towards any only child. Sure, the author only dignifies only children with a single paragraph, but there was one sentence that ignited a fury in me I still haven't fully put out. 
"Only children are a little like pets, cosseted and lavished with undivided focus."

Now I have heard a lot of insanely stupid children vs. pet comparisons before, but really Nixon is nothing like a spoiled tea cup poodle or whatever the crap those ankle biters are called. Nixon has the comprehension skills to know what "no" means and he actually hears it frequently, despite his poor lonely status as an only child. I mean, it's not like we keep him locked in the basement and never take him out in public. He does go to stores, the zoo, OMG...we even took him to the movie theater AND he had to wait for the previews to end before he could watch the movie!! The horror of it all!! A dog, cat, rabbit, rat, snake or any other pet really doesn't have that comprehension. I don't compare children to my cats. Well, I compare Nixon to our cats, but that's because Nixon doesn't sleep on my pillow and kick me in the head (Amber, I'm looking at you), or try to stretch out so far and take up so much of the bed I'm forced to move onto Mac's side of the bed and give her my side of the bed (Arwen, I'm looking at you). Nixon also doesn't mew while he's trying to curl up onto my ass in the middle of the night (Arwen) or fight/eat my hair when I'm trying to do push ups or crunches on the living room floor (Amber). Finally, Nixon doesn't think attempted murder is an option when he's hungry (Amber, tripping me is not cool...ever).

The result of this article was more than just my anger and disgust. I actually subscribe to Parenting magazine, which printed this article. This is not the first article they've published that has the usual pro-sibling drivel but this has become the last one I'm going to pay to read. I emailed the magazine and asked that they cancel my subscription and explained exactly why I was canceling the subscription. I received a reply within 24 hours, explaining my subscription is good until August 2015 and how I could cancel it. Not one single regretful word in the entire email. Yeah, I made the right choice. It's canceled and I feel good defending my family, my son and only child in general.  

By the way, on the whole, I don't know too many parents who find it acceptable to compare a pet to a child. I know people who do it with the best of intentions but it's just not the same. I love Arwen to death, and honestly  in our wedding vows I told Mac "I love you more than anything...except Arwen. She was here first." And I was not joking. Nixon and Arwen are tied for 1st place in my heart, when Nixon goes to bed Arwen gets to snuggle with me. I rank people who give me advice on how to handle Nixon with tips that work with their pets the same as I rank people who give me advice on how to handle Nixon and they have no children. Umm....it's not real high. I'll just leave it there. 
Kids are not pets.
Kids are not pets. 
Kids.Are.Not.Pets.

 Only child or not, there is never a child who is a pet. Except maybe Jacob and the rest of the wolf pack from the Twilight series. Well, when they're in wolf form. But they'd be big ass pets. And I am not cleaning up after an accident one of them has, so they'd better be housebroken!

  
Arwen- my cat and an actual pet, but don't tell her, I'm pretty sure she's convinced she's really human and royalty at that! But she's a pet none-the-less. She just happens to have some serious travel miles logged over the years!

Jacob Black- the only possible child/pet hybid. Although less my child and more eye candy and drool worthy yumminess. As long as he's housebroken otherwise...there's the door, Eye Candy.
Nixon- my child, who while occasionally acts like an animal is NOT an animal and should never be compared to one!

















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